Christmas stories; Love stories; Soldiers -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
He paused in what he was doing and sat gazing into the flames which were
licking at the wood. He hung his head. He ought to have thought of that;
in the last few years so many Englishmen were dead. And then there came
another reflection--the picture of what it must have cost her husband to
say good-bye to his wife and children, and go marching away to anonymous
glory. He wasn't married himself, but if he had been... It took enough
bolstering up of one's courage to go when one was single; but to go when
one was married... And yet selfishly, ever since he had put on khaki his
paramount regret had been that, were he to peg out, he would leave no
one to carry on in his stead. This air-raid was his first remote taste
of warfare; within the next few weeks he was to know it in its full
fury. What had impressed him most was the difference between war as
imagined and witnessed. As imagined it had seemed the most immense of
sports; as witnessed it was merely murder. Just before he had
sought shelter he had seen where a bomb had fallen. People had been
killed--people not so different from the mother and children hiding in
this house. The suddenness of extinction had made him feel that in the
game of life he had somehow “missed out.” There would be no woman to
think of him as “her man” were he to go west. And here was the woman's
price for such caring, “He'll never come back.”
He turned his head slowly; by the light of the crackling wood for the
first time he saw her. The little boy was lying wearied out, with
his head bowed in her lap. The little girl sat drowsing against her
shoulder.
She herself was leaning forward, gazing at and beyond him with a
curious air of resigned intensity. She seemed to him to be listening
for someone, whom she knew in her heart was never coming. He noticed the
white half-moon of her shoulders faintly showing beneath her chinchilla
wrap. He noticed her string of perfect pearls, the single ring on
her hand and the expensive simplicity of her velvet gown. He was
sufficiently a man of the world to make a guess at her social station.
But it wasn't her beauty or elegance that struck him, though they were
strangely in contrast to the empty room in which she sat; it was her
gentleness and expression of patient courage. He knew, as surely as if
she had told him, that this empty room, in which he had found her, was
the symbol of her days. It was with her as it was with himself; there
was no man to whom she was “his woman.”
“I've hurt you by the impertinence of my questions.”
She smiled and shook her head. “You've not hurt me. Don't think that.
I shouldn't like you to think that you'd hurt me or anything that would
make you sad. Are you going to France soon?”
“Tomorrow.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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