"I don't blame you for loving Dick, for... for continuing to love
Dick," he answered impatiently. "And for that matter, I don't see what
you find in me compared with him. This is honest. He is a great man to
me, and Great Heart is his name--" she rewarded him with a smile and
nod of approval. "But if you continue to love Dick, how about me?"
"But I love you, too."
"It can't be," he cried, tearing himself from the piano to make a hasty
march across the room and stand contemplating the Keith on the opposite
wall as if he had never seen it before.
She waited with a quiet smile, pleasuring in his unruly impetuousness.
"You can't love two men at once," he flung at her.
"Oh, but I do, Evan. That's what I am trying to work out. Only I don't
know which I love more. Dick I have known a long time. You... you are
a--"
"Recent acquaintance," he broke in, returning to her with the same
angry stride.
"Not that, no, not that, Evan. You have made a revelation to me of
myself. I love you as much as Dick. I love you more. I--I don't know."
She broke down and buried her face in her hands, permitting his hand to
rest tenderly on her shoulder.
"You see it is not easy for me," she went on. "There is so much
involved, so much that I cannot understand. You say you are all at sea.
Then think of me all at sea and worse confounded. You--oh, why talk
about it--you are a man with a man's experiences, with a man's nature.
It is all very simple to you. 'She loves me, she loves me not.' But I
am tangled, confused. I--and I wasn't born yesterday--have had no
experience in loving variously. I have never had affairs. I loved only
one man... and now you. You, and this love for you, have broken into a
perfect marriage, Evan--"
"I know--" he said.
"--I don't know," she went on. "I must have time, either to work it out
myself or to let it work itself out. If it only weren't for Dick..."
her voice trailed off pathetically.
Unconsciously, Graham's hand went farther about her shoulder.
"No, no--not yet," she said softly, as softly she removed it, her own
lingering caressingly on his a moment ere she released it. "When you
touch me, I can't think," she begged. "I--I can't think."
"Then I must go," he threatened, without any sense of threatening. She
made a gesture of protest. "The present situation is impossible,
unbearable. I feel like a cur, and all the time I know I am not a cur.
I hate deception--oh, I can lie with the Pathan, to the Pathan--but I
can't deceive a man like Great Heart. I'd prefer going right up to him
and saying: 'Dick, I love your wife. She loves me. What are you going
to do about it?'"
"Do so," Paula said, fired for the moment.
Graham straightened up with resolution.
"I will. And now."
"No, no," she cried in sudden panic. "You must go away." Again her
voice trailed off, as she said, "But I can't let you go."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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