"Dick," she interrupted him, leaning toward him and searching him. She
paused to frame her thought, and then went on with directness. "In our
dozen years, will you say it has never been any more with you?"
"I have told you that I justify you in everything," he softened his
reply.
"But you have not answered my question," she insisted. "Oh, I do not
mean mere flirtatious passages, bits of primrose philandering. I mean
unfaithfulness and I mean it technically. In the past you have?"
"In the past," he answered, "not much, and not for a long, long time."
"I often wondered," she mused.
"And I have told you I justify you in everything," he reiterated. "And
now you know where lies the justification."
"Then by the same token I had a similar right," she said. "Though I
haven't, Dick, I haven't," she hastened to add. "Well, anyway, you
always did preach the single standard."
"Alas, not any longer," he smiled. "One's imagination will conjure, and
in the past few weeks I've been forced to change my mind."
"You mean that you demand I must be faithful?"
He nodded and said, "So long as you live with me."
"But where's the equity?"
"There isn't any equity," he shook his head. "Oh, I know it seems a
preposterous change of view. But at this late day I have made the
discovery of the ancient truth that women are different from men. All I
have learned of book and theory goes glimmering before the everlasting
fact that the women are the mothers of our children. I... I still had
my hopes of children with you, you see. But that's all over and done
with. The question now is, what's in your heart? I have told you mine.
And afterward we can determine what is to be done."
"Oh, Dick," she breathed, after silence had grown painful, "I do love
you, I shall always love you. You are my Red Cloud. Why, do you know,
only yesterday, out on your sleeping porch, I turned my face to the
wall. It was terrible. It didn't seem right. I turned it out again, oh
so quickly."
He lighted a cigarette and waited.
"But you have not told me what is in your heart, all of it," he chided
finally.
"I do love you," she repeated.
"And Evan?"
"That is different. It is horrible to have to talk this way to you.
Besides, I don't know. I can't make up my mind what is in my heart."
"Love? Or amorous adventure? It must be one or the other."
She shook her head.
"Can't you understand?" she asked. "That I don't understand? You see, I
am a woman. I have never sown any wild oats. And now that all this has
happened, I don't know what to make of it. Shaw and the rest must be
right. Women are hunting animals. You are both big game. I can't help
it. It is a challenge to me. And I find I am a puzzle to myself. All my
concepts have been toppled over by my conduct. I want you. I want Evan.
I want both of you. It is not amorous adventure, oh believe me. And if
by any chance it is, and I do not know it--no, it isn't, I know it
isn't."
"Then it is love."
"But I do love you, Red Cloud."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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