The Little Man: A Farcical Morality in Three Scenes — John Shaqi
The Little Man: A Farcical Morality in Three ScenesGalsworthy, John
General
The Little Man: A Farcical Morality in Three Scenes
Galsworthy, John
English drama
AMERICAN. [Addressing the OFFICIAL] Now, see here. 'Pears to me
you don't suspicion just how beautiful this is. Here we have a man
giving his life for that old baby that's got no claim on him. This
is not a baby of his own making. No, sir, this is a very Christ-like
proposition in the gentleman.
OFFICIAL. Put ze baby down, or ich will goummand someone it to do.
AMERICAN. That will be very interesting to watch.
OFFICIAL. [To POLICEMAN] Dake it vrom him.
[The POLICEMAN mutters, but does not.]
AMERICAN. [To the German] Guess I lost that.
GERMAN. He say he is not his officier.
AMERICAN. That just tickles me to death.
OFFICIAL. [Looking round] Vill nobody dake ze Bub'?
ENGLISHWOMAN. [Moving a step faintly] Yes--I----
ENGLISHMAN. [Grasping her arm]. By Jove! Will you!
OFFICIAL. [Gathering himself for a great effort to take the BABY,
and advancing two steps] Zen I goummand you--[He stops and his voice
dies away] Zit dere!
AMERICAN. My! That's wonderful. What a man this is! What a
sublime sense of duty!
[The DUTCH YOUTH laughs. The OFFICIAL turns on him, but as he
does so the MOTHER of the Busy is seen hurrying.]
MOTHER. 'Ach! Ach! Mei' Bubi'!
[Her face is illumined; she is about to rush to the LITTLE MAN.]
OFFICIAL. [To the POLICEMAN] 'Nimm die Frau'!
[The POLICEMAN catches hold of the WOMAN.]
OFFICIAL. [To the frightened WOMAN] 'Warum haben Sie einen Buben mit
Typhus mit ausgebracht'?
AMERICAN. [Eagerly, from his perch] What was that? I don't want to
miss any.
GERMAN. He say: Why did you a baby with typhus with you bring out?
AMERICAN. Well, that's quite a question.
[He takes out the field-glasses slung around him and adjusts
them on the BABY.]
MOTHER. [Bewildered] Mei' Bubi--Typhus--aber Typhus? [She shakes
her head violently] 'Nein, nein, nein! Typhus'!
OFFICIAL. Er hat Typhus.
MOTHER. [Shaking her head] 'Nein, nein, nein'!
AMERICAN. [Looking through his glasses] Guess she's kind of right!
I judge the typhus is where the baby' slobbered on the shawl, and
it's come off on him.
[The DUTCH YOUTH laughs.]
OFFICIAL. [Turning on him furiously] Er hat Typhus.
AMERICAN. Now, that's where you slop over. Come right here.
[The OFFICIAL mounts, and looks through the glasses.]
AMERICAN. [To the LITTLE MAN] Skin out the baby's leg. If we don't
locate spots on that, it'll be good enough for me.
[The LITTLE MAN fumbles Out the BABY'S little white foot.]
MOTHER. Mei' Bubi! [She tries to break away.]
AMERICAN. White as a banana. [To the OFFICIAL--affably] Guess
you've made kind of a fool of us with your old typhus.
OFFICIAL. Lass die Frau!
[The POLICEMAN lets her go, and she rushes to her BABY.]
MOTHER. Mei' Bubi!
[The BABY, exchanging the warmth of the LITTLE MAN for the
momentary chill of its MOTHER, wails.]
OFFICIAL. [Descending and beckoning to the POLICEMAN] 'Sie wollen
den Herrn accusiren'?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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