The Little Moment of HappinessKelland, Clarence Budington
General
The Little Moment of Happiness
Kelland, Clarence Budington
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Almost exactly twenty-four hours ago he had held Andree in his arms,
loving her and believing in her love. He remembered it, recalled the
sweetness of last evening, Andree’s tender sweetness, which could have
been nothing but designing and duplicity.... And now _this_.... He
despised her and he despised himself. A beautiful dream had become a
sordid reality....
How much of all this was due to a sudden perception of right and how
much to boyish jealousy and a sharp hurt to a boyish heart he did not
know. It did not occur to him to ask.... He had been made a fool of. He
was furious with what he took to be righteous anger; what he did not
know was that as soon as she passed there would come the most poignant
grief he had ever known; the grief that comes only when a beautiful
something has crept into one’s life to be snatched away brutally,
leaving in its nest something squalid, unsightly, disgusting.
For a moment he was on the point of confronting Andree and Monsieur
Robert, but he restrained himself. There would be a scene; probably he
would thrash Robert—and to what good?... He glared at them a moment
longer, then turned away and almost ran down the boulevard.... He was
not thinking now, only suffering.
Presently he found himself repeating over and over to himself: “Andree,
how could you?... Andree, how could you?...” Rage was departing, grief
and disillusionment were taking its place. Presently he came to a Metro
station and plunged downward. The train would carry him home faster than
he could walk, and he wanted to be home, to shut himself up, to be
alone. He wanted to feel that doors and walls were between him and all
the world.... It was the sort of feeling which, long continued, drives
men into religious orders, makes of them Trappists, Cistercians....
Shelter and silence were what Kendall wanted—to crawl away into some
hiding-place where he might make the most of his suffering.
He ran up the stairs of the apartment, snatched the key from under the
rug, and threw open the door. The apartment was lighted. He paused.
Madeleine and Bert were in the _salon_, and both appeared in the door to
greet him. They called to him gaily, but Kendall did not reply. He
scowled at them and flung himself past them without a word, to disappear
in his room and slam the door.
“_Qu’est-ce que c’est?_” exclaimed Madeleine, and then laughed.
“_Beaucoup zigzag!_”
“No,” said Bert, staring after his friend, “he doesn’t drink.
Something’s up. Something’s happened.”
“It is Andree,” Madeleine said, with a shake of her head. “I know.
_Oui...._ It is plain to read. _Jaloux_. Oh yes. I know the signs.
_Pauvre enfant!_ He is ver’ jealous. There is no other anger like
it—none.”
“What had I better do?”
“Not anything. That is best.... He mus’ be lef’ alone—him.... But I do
not theenk—Andree love heem. I could see. He is not glad.... But what
would you? It is not nice to be jealous. One suffers. But I theenk he
make the mistake—yes.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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