The Little Moment of HappinessKelland, Clarence Budington
General
The Little Moment of Happiness
Kelland, Clarence Budington
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
However, as he thought more and more of her presence, he found himself
desiring greatly to see her. There was something sympathetic and
dependable about her, something that he could understand and approve.
She was American, thoroughly American. Yes, by all means, he wished to
see her, but he would hold himself in restraint. They should not become
at all personal, and he would watch the conversation carefully to see
that it did not turn any unexpected corners or wander down lanes ending
in disagreeable obstacles to be cleared.
“There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be decent to her,” he told himself,
speciously. “She’s probably lonesome, and we are both Americans....” He
remembered the hour or so he had spent with her in Montreuil, and how he
had come away from her in a state of perplexity, wondering if it were
possible for a man to love two women at the same time.... “It isn’t
that,” he told himself. “I love Andree and nobody but Andree ... but
that’s no reason I shouldn’t see Maude. Anyhow, she’ll be here only a
day or so....”
The truth of the matter was that, without realizing it, Kendall did not
trust himself. He was afraid that a thing might happen which he was in a
queer sort of way half willing should happen—that he might fall in love
with Maude Knox or that he might realize in her presence that he
actually was in love with her. It was a singular position. Undoubtedly
he loved Andree—but how? That he did not ask himself. He loved her, he
had a sort of reverence for her, and he had besides a real friendship
for her, but—He would inevitably have reached that _but_ if he had
allowed himself to analyze his love for her.... A man may have one child
and love it with a love which he fancies is boundless and exclusive. He
may believe that every fraction of the love he has to give belongs to
that child, and he may resent the coming of a second child and look upon
it as an interloper. But very shortly he finds himself loving the
new-comer not one whit less than the first-born.... If love can become
miraculous in this manner—inexhaustible like the loaves and fishes—with
respect to children, cannot it be the same with respect to women?
Kendall had seen the first develop in the case of a friend, had heard
the friend speak in confidence before the coming of his second child,
and had observed him after the passage of a few weeks. He took it as the
basis of an argument and, using it as a stepping-stone, reached a
conclusion which was disturbing ... but not lacking in a certain
allurement.... And what of countries where there are plural marriages?
How in the case of a man lawfully possessed of more than one wife? Does
such a man love all, or only one, or none?...
It was in this uncertain frame of mind that he went to the Wagram and
called Maude Knox’s room on the rather difficult house telephone.
“Captain Ware!...” said her voice. “I hardly expected you, but it’s good
of you to have come. I’ll be right down.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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