The Little Moment of HappinessKelland, Clarence Budington
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The Little Moment of Happiness
Kelland, Clarence Budington
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
It filled him with anger to think of this child whom sorrow had no right
to touch for years—to think of her life as clouded at the moment when it
should have been filled with joys. It was unfair.... Life had no right
to treat her so. Sympathy and tenderness moved him, and he placed his
arm about her and drew her to him. She did not resist, nor did she
respond, even when he turned her face upward and kissed her. Her lips
were cold.... If nothing but little minutes of happiness were possible
for her, he vowed in his heart that he would make them more numerous.
He continued to hold her, and she lay in his arms unresisting while he
whispered to her as he would have whispered to an unhappy child—yet not
as he would have whispered to a child. The touch of her, her nearness,
her sweet fragility mounted to his head.
“I want you to be very happy ... because I love you,” he said, and,
saying it, he believed it. There was room in his thoughts for nothing
but her in that moment. Inhibitions were forgotten, apprehensions laid
aside—the youth in his heart cried out to the youth in her heart—nothing
remained but youth and love and a great sympathy. He did not look to the
future. The sharp voice of conscience, suspicious, narrow, inherited
from his mother, was silenced. Not that he was consciously running
counter to the demands of that conscience! He was living that minute
with no thought of what the next minute might bring....
Andree freed herself and looked at him gravely, with a sad scrutiny.
“No,” she said. “You do not love me.... It is not possible.”
“But I do.... I do.... Don’t you love me a little—just a little?”
“Oh,” she said in a little voice, “I am afraid....”
“Afraid? ... Of what?”
“I do not know.... I am so _solitaire_—so lonely—and I am afraid.”
“If you love me—”
“_Non!... Non!..._ You do not love me. You only say. And if I love
you—in a week, in two week, you go away to _Amérique_ and leave me to be
more _solitaire_.... I should be more sad....”
“No,” he declared, and was about to expostulate and to declare that he
would never leave her, but the words would not come. His mother had
stepped in. “You will love me,” he declared, in spite of his mother. “We
will love each other—and there will be happiness.... If the best we can
have is little moments of happiness, let us have all we can of them.” He
was honest, thought he was being honest in his sophistry.
“You would go away—in a week, in a month....”
“No, no!”
He saw that she was crying, and suddenly she turned from him to bury her
face in her arms and to sob quietly, not unrestrainedly, but with such a
quietness as went with powerful impulse to his heart, and he gathered
her to him again and tried to comfort her.
“Why do you cry? What is it, _mignonne_?”
She shook her head. “I do not know,” she said, but he knew that she did
know and would not tell. “I will go home now.... I am sad, and you will
not like me when I am sad.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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