The Little NuggetWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Little Nugget
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Kidnapping -- Fiction
'Well, somehow the sketch seemed to get shelved. I didn't even
have to start it. We were having our chat, you see. Reggie was
telling me how good he had been at football when he was at Oxford,
and he wanted me to see a newspaper clipping of a Varsity match he
had played in. I said I'd love to see it. He said it was in his
suit-case in the house. So I promised to look after Ogden while he
fetched it. I sent him off to get it just in time for us to catch
the train. Off he went, and here we are. And now, won't you order
that lunch you mentioned? I'm starving.'
Mrs Ford rose. Half-way to the telephone she stopped suddenly.
'My dear child! It has only just struck me! We must leave here at
once. He will have followed you. He will guess that Ogden has been
kidnapped.'
Cynthia smiled.
'Believe me, it takes Reggie quite a long time to guess anything.
Besides, there are no trains for hours. We are quite safe.'
'Are you sure?'
'Absolutely. I made certain of that before I left.'
Mrs Ford kissed her impulsively.
'Oh, Cynthia, you really are wonderful!'
She started back with a cry as the bell rang sharply.
'For goodness' sake, Nesta,' said Cynthia, with irritation, 'do
keep control of yourself. There's nothing to be frightened about.
I tell you Mr Broster can't possibly have got here in the time,
even if he knew where to go to, which I don't see how he could.
It's probably Ogden.'
The colour came back into Mrs Ford's cheeks.
'Why, of course.'
Cynthia opened the door.
'Come in, darling,' said Mrs Ford fondly. And a wiry little man
with grey hair and spectacles entered.
'Good afternoon, Mrs Ford,' he said. 'I have come to take Ogden
back.'
II
There are some situations in life so unexpected, so trying, that,
as far as concerns our opinion of those subjected to them, we
agree, as it were, not to count them; we refuse to allow the
victim's behaviour in circumstances so exacting to weigh with us
in our estimate of his or her character. We permit the great
general, confronted suddenly with a mad bull, to turn and run,
without forfeiting his reputation for courage. The bishop who,
stepping on a concealed slide in winter, entertains passers-by
with momentary rag-time steps, loses none of his dignity once the
performance is concluded.
In the same way we must condone the behaviour of Cynthia Drassilis
on opening the door of Mrs Ford's sitting-room and admitting, not
Ogden, but this total stranger, who accompanied his entry with the
remarkable speech recorded at the close of the last section.
She was a girl who prided herself on her carefully blase' and
supercilious attitude towards life; but this changeling was too
much for her. She released the handle, tottered back, and, having
uttered a discordant squeak of amazement, stood staring, eyes and
mouth wide open.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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