“I must say it, Miss Dalton,” said he. “I am compelled to. I came here
this day--for the sole purpose of saying--something which--you--may be
unwilling to hear. I have hesitated long, and staid away longer on this
account, yet I must say it now. You are in a fearful position, Miss
Dalton. You are in the power of an unprincipled and a desperate man. I
feel for you most deeply. You are always in my thoughts. In order to
assist you I have done all that I could. I do not wish to make any
allusions to what I have done, but rather to what I have felt, and shall
feel. You have become very dear to me. I know I am not worthy of you.
You are above me. I am only a humble lieutenant; you are the lady of
Dalton Hall; but I can not bear to--to go away and leave one whom I love
in the power of a villain. Dare I offer you my protection? Will it be
too much to ask you to be mine? I do not hope that you can look upon me
just yet with any such feelings as love, but I see that you treat me as
a friend, and you have honored me with your confidence. I have never
said any thing about my love to you, but perhaps you have not been
altogether without suspicion about it. Had I found Sir Lionel, or had I
thought that he was at all accessible, I would never have made my humble
confession until you were in a different position. I am ashamed to make
it now, for though I know that you would not suspect me of any thing
base, yet it looks as if I were taking advantage of your necessities.
But I know that to a mind like yours such a suspicion would never come;
and I am comforted by the thought that if you do listen to my request it
will lead, to your safety. I think, too, that if it were possible for
you to consent, even if you felt no very tender sentiment toward me, you
would have from me a devotion such as few others are capable of feeling.
Under such circumstances you might not be altogether unhappy.”
All this Dudleigh had spoken with feverish rapidity, and with every sign
of the strongest agitation, occasionally stopping, and then resuming his
remarks in a headlong way. But if he had felt agitation, Edith had felt
at least quite as much. At the first mention of his proposal her head
sank forward, and she looked fixedly upon the ground with downcast eyes,
while her tears fell abundantly. She said nothing. Dudleigh in his
frequent pauses seemed to expect that she would say something, but she
did not.
Edith's feelings were of the most distressing kind. She had, of course,
anticipated something like this, but had never yet been able to decide
what she should do in the event of such a confession. She did not love
him. Her feelings toward him were of a totally different kind. It seemed
to her that such a feeling as love could never by any possibility be
felt by her for him. And yet she had a very strong regard for him. His
society was very pleasant to her. She would have done much and
sacrificed much for his sake. But to be his wife, that was a thing which
seemed odious.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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