Leave the Bar 8 bells Pass Rye Beach 6 bells Off the Faro Banks 3 bells Near High Ballston Spa 4 bells Arrive Vichy Springs 7 bells Weather Cape Casegoods 2 bells Nearing Prohibition Park 8 bells Arrive Delaware Water Gap 1 bell Pass Croton Reservoir 5 bells Round Apollinaris Bottling Works 6 bells Weather White Rock Point 4 bells Arrive at Waterbury 8 bells _The management reserves the right to change the itinerary at any old bell time._ NUTT The Square Hatter 132 1–2 WATER STREET Big Heads My Specialty Any Size Head Fitted Ask to see my =Adjustable, Telescopic Noiseless Hats=. (_Patent Pending._) Just the thing for the Water Wagon. No springs or metal used. Will expand or contract as conditions require. Space in sweat-band for cracked ice. Money refunded if we don’t make good. Stretching done at your own home the morning after. Telephone, Derby 8 3–4 =“You get the Head, and we’ll put a Lid on it”= +Second Day+ Most of the gold-cures are only plated, and it soon wears off.—Keeley. ⁂ Men’s evil manners live in rum. Their virtues we write in water.—Shakespeare. LOG -- Second Day The morning opened on a full house, and everybody stayed—in bed. Barometer throbbing feverishly, indicating a long dry spell. ⁂ The breakfast-gong was sounded by the Steward, but not a soul made a move. Cries of “Lynch him!” from the staterooms. ⁂ The Captain has been looking over the Log, and says I keep it like a butcher’s book. I told him to keep it himself if he didn’t like it. ⁂ 11 A. M.—The Steward got everybody on deck by turning in a still alarm that the next round was on the house. The push dressed like a commuter making the 8.13 train. Everybody voted it a dirty trick. ⁂ 11.30 A. M.—Tied up at Water Tank No. 1, and took on fifty cases of lemon soda and sarsaparilla, and a case of malted milk for Moxie Matzoon, alias Moxie Grandpa,—a stowaway, who was discovered soon after we cleared the Bar. He is suspected of being the staff correspondent of the Weekly Water Cooler. He doesn’t seem to be popular. ⁂ 12.30 P. M.—The Captain took a lunar observation, and reported that we were in latitude 58:12 W. from Greenwich, Conn. I asked him how he managed to observe the moon in the middle of the day, and he referred me to the Information Bureau. Crusty old chap. ⁂ Whale sighted. He was blowing his friends. Cheers from the waterproof deck, and cries of “I’ll take the same!” ⁂ At 3 P. M. mutiny broke out among the passengers, but it was quelled by the Captain with his trusty little marlingspike. Doctor Zoolak, the ship’s surgeon, diagnosed the case as thirst, not mutiny. ⁂