_Pander._ Thou prating Cockscomb of a Pimp! Do'st think that I'm an Underling to thee! No I'd have you to know I'm above thee: We'll quickly try which is the most useful. An't I intrusted with all the Gentlemens Secrets; Don't I keep the Door? Nay, been't I the Overseer of all? Sure then I must be the better Man. Besides, I suit the Wenches with such Gallants as are of their own Complexions, and are the best liking to 'em; and in all difficult Cases which happen, they still ask my advice, for giving which, I often get a double Fee. And if I stay at home, 'tis only to make an Ass of thee whilst thou'rt abroad; for where thou get'st one Shilling a Broad, I get Five at Home. If I shou'd go away, I am sure the Custom wou'd quickly drop off; for I am the Person most respected by the Customers, and therefore I think I have the best Title of you all to Preheminence. Old Mother Damnable the Bawd having stood by all this while, and heard all their Allegations, at last broke forth into a very great Laughter; and after having given vent to her Risible Faculty, made em' this Answer. _Bawd._ I can't chuse but laugh to hear the Fools prate about Preheminence: They would all fain be Masters, and yet they know they are but all my Servants; they make their Boast, of this and that, and talk of their great gains: and forget that I rule the Roast, and that both their gains and their very being here, depends upon my Pleasure: Pray Gentlemen, whose House is this? I hope you look upon the House to be mine, and I am sure I bought the Furniture. And yet you talk as if I had nothing to do here; whereas you might all have gone a Begging before now, if I had not took you into my Service. And you, Mrs. _Minx_ because you're a little handsome, you begin to grow Proud and don't consider that if I had'nt prefer'd you to the Station you are in, you must have been a Scullion-Wench, or gone to washing and Scowring: Was'nt it I that bought you those fine Cloths, put you into the Equipage you are in? Alas you were but a meer Novice in sinning till I put you into the way, and taught you. You have forgot how bashful you were at first, and how much ado I had to bring you to let a Gentleman take you by the _Tu quoque_. And now I have brought you to something, that you can get your own living, you begin to slite me.--And you Mr. _Pimp._ wa'n't you a pitiful Rogue, till I took you into my Service? Pray who would have regarded you in those Rags I found you in? And now I have put you into a good Garb, and made a man of you, you wou'd fain be my Master, I warrant ye! But I'll take care to hinder that; and if you don't know your self, I do. Nay, there's your Brother _Pander_ too, is e'en as bad, and can't tell when he's well; Because I allow him the vails belonging to his Place, he fancies himself a Master too, and wou'd have all be rul'd by his advice: But I shall make you know there's two words to that Bargain. I think I