My watch has needed winding only twice since I left London, and already,
as I sit here in the strange library of a strange house, whose only
purpose in having a library seems to be to keep visitors like myself
quiet and out of harm's way, I find myself looking back to those past
months in which I was for ever complaining of the necessity that kept me
in London. How I would deliver myself to a congenial friend about what
men are pleased to call "the artificial necessity of living"--a
cocktail, that courtesan of drinks, lent some artificiality! With what
sincerity I would agree with another's complaint of the "monotonous
routine of politeness," without indulging which men cannot live
decently; how I would mutter to myself of streets and theatres full of
men and women and ugliness! Even as a cab hurried me through the
Tottenham Court Road to Euston the smile which I turned to the
never-ending windows of furniture shops was at the thought that I should
not see them again for many days, and I could not imagine myself ever
being pleased to come back to this world of plain women and bowler hats
and bawdily coloured cinema posters, whose duty it is to attract and
insult with the crude portrayal of the indecent passions of tiresome
people. If there be a studio in purgatory for indiscreet æsthetics,
Rhadamanthus could do no better than paper its walls with illustrations
of "The Blindness of Love," or "Is Love Lust?" For it is now a London of
coloured drawings of men about to murder or be murdered, women about to
be seduced or divorced. One has to see a crowd of people surging into a
cinema, by whose doors is a poster showing a particularly vapid
servant-girl, a harlot of the "dark-eyed, sinister" type, and a drunken,
fair-haired young man who has not yet realised that discretion is the
better part of an indiscretion, before one can understand "the lure of
the screen."
And even the entrance of Euston, rebuilt and newly painted, gave my eyes
only the pleasure of foreseeing that the new yellow paint would soon be
dingy, and that the eyes of porters would soon no longer be offended
with upstart colours which quarrelled with the greyness of their
experience. And in the carriage I leant back and closed my eyes, and was
glad that I was leaving London.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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