I like to walk on the Green Park side; in summer because of the fresh,
green, rustling trees, an unhurried pleasaunce in London's chaotic
noises, and in winter because I like nothing better than to look at
leaf-stripped trees standing nakedly against a grey sky, finger-posts of
Nature pointing to the real No-Man's Land, and illustrating the
miraculous wonder of being just beautiful, as no man-made thing can be;
for all things made by man, a picture, or, if you like, a woman's shoes
with heels of stained majolica, have an aim and a purpose. They lack the
futility, of which Nature alone has the secret, of being just carelessly
beautiful. When I say Nature, I do not see the Dame Nature of Oscar
Wilde's crooked vision, a crude, slatternly charwoman, but a spendthrift
prodigal, spending for the sheer love of spending; he takes every man by
the sleeve, and with delicious good manners he makes it seem that he
values your opinion above all others, that he has created the beauty of
the world to please in particular your eye, that you will sadly
disappoint him if you hint that you hadn't much liked the tinge of
vermilion in yestreen's sunset, for he had touched in that vermilion
just to give you a pleasant surprise.
Thus it is with Nature and myself; I see him as an old beau, given to
leering in cities, but frank and natural in open places. And he knows me
well, too; knows I am no minor poet, no poet at all, in fact, and,
therefore, not to be gulled by insincere sunsets and valleys without
shade or colour; that the idea of a fawn skipping about where I don't
expect him, far from causing in me a metrical paroxysm after Mr. Robert
Nichols, frankly bores me; he has shown me an odd nymph here and there,
but I haven't encouraged him.... They are so intangible, I thought, and
they faded away. So at last, in desperation, he stuck up a naked tree
against a grey sky, and I thought it beautiful. It is a matter entirely
between the old beau and myself. For all I care, you may think my
stripped tree a stupid old tree, but to me it is beautiful. I see life
that way.
But the day I am thinking of, when I got off the bus at Hyde Park
Corner, was towards the end of October, when oysters have already become
a commonplace; and as I walked up the Green Park side, the path around
me was strewn with brown and red and faded green leaves, the last
sacrifice of autumn to winter. I wondered why all things did not die as
beautifully and as naturally as autumn dies. If all things died like
that, there would be no fear in the world, and a world without fear
would be just a splendid adventure, and life would be like chasing a
sunset to the Antipodes--it would disappear only to appear again, more
wonderfully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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