But he drew it back. A further clearer conception had come to him in
that last instant to give him pause. What, after all, was he about to
do? Himself aside, all that was dearest to him aside, was not the act
he contemplated at bottom the murder of a principle, the betrayal of a
trust that he held for the State? He was a public officer, who had
taken oath in the presence of his associates worthily to execute the
functions of his high office, to do justice and fear not. For him the
sin of omission could be no less than the sin of commission. Would
such a shifty suppression of his decision be one whit less a treason
than the rendering of a mendacious one? Either equally besmirched his
honour! Something deeper in him than dread of death, deeper even than
his present fear of life, stirred and throbbed. No, whatever the
outcome, no matter what it held for him and his, he must go through
with it to the bitter end! He buried his face in his hands.
As he sat thus stirless, the sense came to him of another presence in
the room. Another's breath seemed to enwrap the place with feeling.
He turned his head and saw the figure in the doorway. "Echo!" he cried
and rose to his feet.
[Illustration: He turned his head and saw the figure in the doorway.
"Echo!" he cried, and rose to his feet]
She came to him quickly, a little diffidently. "I couldn't help it,
dear! I felt you--worrying, and I had to come." Suddenly her eyes
fell on the revolver on the desk. She sprang and snatched at it in
panic. "That! Oh, not that! Not that!"
"I--it was in my drawer," he said. "Surely you--"
"Ah," she cried. "I know! You--you received a letter this afternoon.
It made you faint. You haven't been yourself since you read it. And
now you--"
He drew a shaking hand across his eyes. "No, dear," he said more
steadily. "It would not have been--what you think. There was a moment
when--but it has gone, and forever." He took the revolver from her
hand, returned it to the drawer and locked it. "There," he said, "I
give you the key. It will not happen now." There was in his wailing
speech a kind of hopeless acquiescence and finality.
Her heart was beating hard with a painful embarrassment. "Can
you--can't you tell me what the letter was?"
He looked at her palely, his features working. She would have to know
soon enough, yet he shrank with a fastidious pain from telling her.
What would she think of him? "Twenty years ago," he said, "when I was
a young man, I wrote an--an unwise letter. It--it had to do with some
one who died the year it was written, but whose memory I--I treasure.
The threat is made now to publish it, and this would--would shame and
harm that memory and me."
"Some one who is dead?" she repeated bewildered. The picture her fancy
had painted was fading out. "Then how--"
"The old letter has fallen into unfriendly hands."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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