Gradually, however, the sharper corrosive ache had dulled away, leaving
an overmastering sense of his trouble. Since Nelson had helped him to
his room after his fainting in the library, she had not seen him, for
though he had with curious stubbornness, it had seemed to her, refused
to have the doctor come, he had not appeared at dinner. She wondered
whether he was now asleep, or lying wide-eyed, nursing thoughts like
hers. Finally there had stolen over her an odd uneasiness, a thriving
anxiety. That tenuous telegraphy whose laws evade analysis though its
operations are familiar and which, ever since her childhood, had called
from her a subconscious and involuntary response to his moods that had
sometimes startled them both by its eerie suggestion, now flooded her
mind with a sense of warning. She slipped out of bed to peer through
the blind. She could see a window of the library: light was sifting
from between its heavy curtains--her father was not in his room, then;
he was there. She thrust her feet into worsted slippers, threw a
kimono over her nightgown and ran quickly down the stair.
The light footfall, the whispering rustle, did not reach the Judge. He
was unaware of the girl who had paused uncertainly on the threshold.
His mind was arguing the final phase of his problem.
What he purposed would cut the Gordian knot, make plain-sailing for
others, if not for himself. He would have rendered no decision on the
crucial case. With his escape the problem would solve itself. Craig
would have nothing to gain then in publishing the letter. "Why not?"
he muttered. "It is justifiable--it is neither gross nor cowardly--to
issue one's-self a ticket into the hereafter in order to avert shame
from the innocent and secure peace to those one loves!" His wife was
provided for. His elimination from her equation of life, he reflected
with a tinge of bitterness, would not deeply disturb her even, centred
existence. Echo, he thought likely, would marry Sevier. And
Chilly--of what earthly use was his life to Chilly? "I will do it," he
said to himself. He stretched out his hand--toward the silver-mounted
revolver.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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