Detective and mystery stories; Science fiction; Short stories
Zitts eyed the round arm with interest. "Elementary," he said. "People
are always wanting me to investigate something, and they always try to
palm off that trash called gold. They never offer anything worthwhile,
such as a dozen genuine bacteria for my collection, or a scuttle of
coal--that almost priceless black stuff from which so many things are
made. Ever seen any coal?"
The woman shook her head, swinging the shoulder-length blonde hair from
side to side, and her deep blue eyes opened wide in wonder. "Heard of
it. Glossy ebon substance of which ornaments are made. A princess on
Mars is said to own a chunk of it as big as my thumb, set in a pendant.
It was captured in the Martian war with Saturn."
"It's probably a phony," Zitts pointed out. "The Martians are too smart
to let a woman wear that precious stuff. A piece that big could be
made into the nucleus of a webbing which would trap enough sunlight
and moisture from the orbit of Mars to turn every sandy plain on that
planet into fertile land."
The subject seemed beyond the grasp of the woman. "But you haven't told
me," she said softly, "how you knew it was my husband's death, not
something else."
Zitts turned slightly in his chair. The turning itself seemed to serve
as a signal. The door on his right opened noiselessly and a dusky
Venusian female glided into the room, came and sat down on a seat which
was remarkably like a man's knee.
"My confidential secretary," Zitts said by way of introduction. "Miss
Xuren Claustinkelwickwellopiandusselkuck. I streamline that a bit and
call her Zoo. Zoo, this is Mrs. Elmer-Brown Jake-Smith."
"What?" The blonde woman's eyes snapped from Zoo to Zitts. "How did you
know my name? And how did you know I had two husbands?"
"One husband," Zitts corrected. "Mr. Jake-Smith was done to death in
some mysterious manner yesterday morning at daylight just as he was
going to bed for the day. But you're still entitled to both names,
having been legally wed to both men. The beyondlaws, I believe, are
bidding Elmer-Brown."
"Beyondlaws? Isn't that an outmoded term? Its meaning has slipped me."
"Outmoded, yes, but still appropriate. Coined to replace the term
congressmen. They once made the laws, I believe, but they were beyond
the laws themselves. Then the people got stirred up and demoted them
to ratcatchers and put responsible men in their places. They worked up
from ratcatchers to jobs then known as policemen. The term ratcatchers
stuck, but it seems more dignified to call them beyondlaws. These
people are holding your other husband, leaving you husbandless. But
that shouldn't be so bad. With your shape you ought to be able to snare
a hundred husbands."
* * * * *
The woman dropped her eyes and blushed. "You shouldn't flatter a poor
widow at a time like this," she said coyly. "But how do you know all
these things about me?"
Zitts turned to the Venusian. "Show her, Zoo," he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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