Wayne’s presence was accepted as a matter of course; no particular
importance attached to him as a guest, and he had not for a long time
felt so wholly at ease as among these young priests, whose aims were
utterly different from any idea he had ever entertained of religious
work. There were only ten of them and they had assembled for a period
of rest and discussion with their leader before separating to continue
their work in various parts of the country immediately after Christmas.
One of the brothers who particularly attracted Wayne had been a sailor.
He had spent his summers sailing in coastwise ships to earn his way
through college. Another had been a ranchman in Colorado and was to
leave shortly for work in Montana. At the end of the meal as at the
beginning they stood in their places and recited prayers, making the
sign of the cross. All but Stoddard, the Superior, went about their
affairs at once. He asked his guests into the library, a comfortable
lounging room where they continued the talk of the table until a
brother appeared to carry Paddock to the station.
Wayne rode down with them, returning to what seemed to be a deserted
house; but as he stood uncertainly in the hall he heard from the little
oratory the deep voice of Stoddard reciting compline. He went to the
door and peered in upon the brothers at prayer. The room was quite dark
and there were no lights for this service on the tiny altar. Stoddard’s
voice boomed through the little chapel; the kneeling priests in the
rough choir stalls responded in the antiphonals with deep, hearty
voices. There was nothing spectacular or theatrical in the scene; the
setting was too bare for this; and these men, Wayne reflected, were
seriously commending their souls to the mercy and protection of a God
in whom he did not believe. He went out into the night and followed the
rough road that climbed farther into the mountains, pausing now and
then, where breaks in the woodland offered clear, moonlit vistas, to
gaze across the valley to the hills beyond.
In the depression following his latest plunge into the depths, while
his head ached and his hands shook, a dark thought had crossed his
mind and it came back upon him now. A slip on the edge of one of these
iron crags and he would crash into oblivion, and that would be the end
of his troubles. If Paddock had lodged him here with the idea that he
might be won to a belief in religion he had made a stupid blunder. The
religion of emotion might in certain circumstances have appealed to
Wayne Craighill, but the religion of service as practised by Stoddard
and Paddock struck him as vain and futile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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