United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Personal narratives
After putting on the other things I muffled my head in the veil. The
disguise was perfect. Even I was startled for a moment, so precisely did
I look like Salome. I had drawn the veil enough over my face to entirely
conceal my short hair and had contrived to fasten the curl of Salome's,
which I always carried with me, to an inner fold in such a way that it
showed below it at the left side, in exact imitation of the way Salome
had worn one when I had last seen her.
My training had left me deeply tinctured with the idea that an army
officer must have no inconvenient emotions, but I then and there, early
in my career, proved that they do. It was absurd, but I could have wept.
Salome's exact image looked back at me from the mirror, and an intense
longing to take the deceiving reflection into my arms came over me. For
a moment I lost all the pride and valor of a son of Mars. I was only a
very ordinary mortal, to whom the war was hateful in the extreme. I had
no more ambition than an assistant company cook.
It did not last long. I swallowed away at the wretched lump in my throat
and looked at myself, as reflected, with the critical eye of a person
trying to penetrate a disguise.
I could pick no flaw and was soon viewing myself with much complacency,
for my exceedingly ladylike appearance meant that success was nominally
certain.
During that trip was the only time I ever blessed my then slight form
and effeminate voice. Hard service during the war and years of army life
on our Western frontier since, have changed all that, and lost me every
trace of that hated "prettiness," which at that time had gained me from
my associates the sobriquet I so detested, and caused me so much genuine
anguish of soul and many downfalls of pride.
Fully satisfied, I divested myself of my borrowed apparel and darkening
the windows, just as the sun rose over the mountains, I was soon
oblivious to everything around me.
CHAPTER VIII.
I was conscious of nothing more until Ned's voice sounded in my ears. I
had ordered him to waken me at ten o'clock, no matter how soundly I was
sleeping or how much I might expostulate with him at the time. I guess
the poor fellow did have a rather hard time awakening me. Being on a
civilized bed seemed to have obliterated the feeling of caution which
had kept me on the _qui vive_ since the beginning of my trip, and his
voice in my ears at first roused me only to a semi-consciousness and
faint impression of my surroundings, so accustomed was I to Ned's
lingering awakenings. Not until his "Mars, you done said I wuz ter get
you up, acaus' dis yer wa'" finally penetrated my dull ears did he rouse
me effectually to present circumstances.
While thinking over my arrangements as I was dressing, I determined on
taking Ned with me. It was the one additional item needed to perfect the
plan I had originated, and I wondered that I had not thought of it
before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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