_True_. Yes.
_Wild_. Then I'll not say a word
About them.
_True_. Thank you! A judicious friend
Is better than a zealous: you are both!
I see you'll plead my cause as 'twere your own;
Then stay in town, and win your neighbour for me;
Make me the envy of a score of men
That die for her as I do. Make her mine,
And when the last "Amen!" declares complete
The mystic tying of the holy knot,
And 'fore the priest a blushing wife she stands,
Be thine the right to claim the second kiss
She pays for change from maidenhood to wifehood.
[Goes out.]
_Wild_. Take that thyself! The first be mine, or none!
A man in love with neighbour Constance! Never
Dreamed I that such a thing could come to pass!
Such person, such endowments, such a soul!
I never thought to ask myself before
If she were man or woman! Suitors, too,
Dying for her! I'll e'en make one among 'em!
Woo her to go to church along with him,
And for my pains the privilege to take
The second kiss? I'll take the second kiss,
And first one too--and last! No man shall touch
Her lips but me. I'll massacre the man
That looks upon her! Yet what chance have I
With lovers of the town, whose study 'tis
To please your lady belles!--who dress, walk, talk,
To hit their tastes--what chance, a country squire
Like me? Yet your true fair, I have heard, prefers
The man before his coat at any time;
And such a one may neighbour Constance be.
I'll show a limb with any of them! Silks
I'll wear, nor keep my legs in cases more.
I'll learn to dance town-dances, and frequent
Their concerts! Die away at melting strains,
Or seem to do so--far the easier thing,
And as effective quite; leave naught undone
To conquer neighbour Constance.
[Enter LASH.]
_Lash_. Sir.
_Wild_. Well, sir?
_Lash_. So please you, sir, your horse is at the door.
_Wild_. Unsaddle him again and put him up.
And, hark you, get a tailor for me, sir--
The rarest can be found.
_Lash_. The man's below, sir,
That owns the mare your worship thought to buy.
_Wild_. Tell him I do not want her, sir.
_Lash_. I vow
You will not find her like in Lincolnshire.
_Wild_. Go to! She's spavined.
_Lash_. Sir!
_Wild_. Touched in the wind.
_Lash_. I trust my master be not touched in the head!
I vow, a faultless beast! [Aside.]
_Wild_. I want her not,
And that's your answer. Go to the hosier's, sir,
And bid him send me samples of his gear,
Of twenty different kinds.
_Lash_. I will, sir.--Sir!
_Wild_. Well, sir.
_Lash_. Squire Brush's huntsman's here, and says
His master's kennel is for sale.
_Wild_. The dogs
Are only fit for hanging!--
_Lash_. Finer bred--
_Wild_. Sirrah, if more to me thou talkest of dogs,
Horses, or aught that to thy craft belongs,
Thou mayst go hang for me!--A cordwainer
Go fetch me straight--the choicest in the town.
Away, sir! Do thy errands smart and well
As thou canst crack thy whip! [LASH goes out.]
Dear neighbour Constance,
I'll give up horses, dogs, and all for thee!
[Goes out.]
SCENE II.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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