Iapetus (Satellite) -- Fiction; Plants -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories; Space ships -- Fiction
You know how it is when you stand in front of a photographer's shop
where they have those violet incandescents? Your flesh sort of turns
bilious green and your lips look like something the cat dragged out
of the well? Well, that's what happened now. I looked at Biggs and
grinned, and he looked at me and split lavender lips in a blue-fanged,
terrifying smile.
"Well!" he said. "There we are. Seventy-two hours from now, when we
reach Iapetus, Diane should have a magnificent bouquet of dewy-fresh
Earth roses, the first ever to be worn on that outpost."
"And seventy-two _seconds_ from now," I told him, "I'm going to have
the screaming meemies from looking at that grass-colored pan of yours.
Let's get out of here."
* * * * *
Well, for the next couple of days nothing much happened. The _Saturn_
had been cut over to the V-I unit,[3] of course, and we were jogging
along at a very tidy and comfortable rate of 185,000 m.p.h. toward our
destination. Having helped Lancelot Biggs to the best of my abilities,
I now co-operated in his further efforts (to the betterment of my
sanity) by remaining away from his experimental chamber. He, too,
remained pretty much in seclusion. The only time I saw him was on the
second day after noon mess when he came wandering up to my turret
mumbling to himself like a cow in a clover path.
[Footnote 3: The V-I (velocity-intensifier) unit is an invention of
Lt. Lancelot Biggs which permits space-craft to attain velocities
approaching the "limiting velocity" of light, i.e., approximately
186,000 miles per second.--ED.]
"Sparks," he demanded, "what rhymes with void?"
"Boid," I told him promptly. "Which I ain't ... and 'annoyed' which I
am. Can't a hard-working radioman even catch up his slumbers around
here without you getting in his hair? Why? When did you develop the
poet complex?"
He flushed and laughed awkwardly, "Well, it--er--doesn't really
matter," he temporized. "I was just trying to--Well, I thought it would
be amusing to write a little poem to say to Diane when I gave her the
roses. You know, a sort of a--love song."
"Some people," I snorted, "are born for trouble, and some people have
trouble thrust upon them ... but you're the first guy I ever knew who
went out of his way looking for it. Now it's love songs to go with the
roses. By the way, how are the roses coming along?"
"Why, all right, I suppose," said Biggs. "I haven't been in to see them
since yesterday. You see, I have the thermoes turned up to max in that
room and it's pretty hot--"
"Not half so hot," I told him, "as the Old Man's going to be when he
finds out you're the one who swiped that container from the cargo bin."
Biggs looked started. "Oh! Has he discovered one of them's gone?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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