3
Now Julia was all impatience. Let the divorce-papers be served without
delay! Let Brunton do his worst!
But Wilberforce, summoned next morning, begged her not to be
precipitate. "Let us wait," said Wilberforce, "till Brunton shows his
hand. At least let us wait till public rumor confirms private
information."
Reluctantly Julia took his advice; and the slow days went by. Inaction
chafed her. She did not weaken, but she suffered. Love needed the spur
of service. Moreover, the old beliefs, scotched, were not yet slain.
Conscience whispered to her in the long wakeful nights: "This is
intellectual dishonesty. If it were any other than Ronnie, would you be
willing to forgive?"
Her son's letter she did not answer. Time and again she took pen in
hand; but always instinct, the instinct of parental dominance,
restrained her. She had held the reins of her son's life so long that
she still lusted to teach him a lesson. Since he had been a fool; since
he had allowed the sentimental impulse to unbalance him in his duty
toward her, let him write again. Besides, what could she say to him? It
was not in her to slobber. When she wrote, it must be with some definite
offer of help. To Julia, love without service always implied a certain
hypocrisy: and that one concept, though every other seemed to have
disintegrated under the stress of circumstance, her set mentality
refused to change.
So she waited--ailing, fearful, lonely in her crowded life; thinking
always of her son; blaming herself for their quarrel; blaming herself
for inaction; her heart humble; her head high among the herd of men.
For as yet rumor knew nothing certain. The herd still patronized Bruton
Street: you still met there, on a Saturday afternoon, the literary folk,
the financial folk, the clergy, the politicians, and the soldiers. To
the outward eye, no tiniest detail of social life in that exquisitely
tended house had altered. Friends, acquaintances, casual visitors--so
far, one hardly missed a face. Even the ambassadorial Bruntons came, in
semi-state, trailing with them the ugly unmarried daughter of Sir
Simeon's first marriage and the two blithe flappers of his second.
Nevertheless, Julia was conscious of a growing tension.
Already--or so it seemed to her watchful imagination--the herd sniffed a
taint. Dot Fancourt's eyes were an unspoken question. Lady Simeon
exaggerated, ever so slightly, her smile of greeting. Paul Flower's
inquiries after Ronnie--no one who knew Julia Cavendish ever forgot to
make that inquiry--held the semblance of a leer. Others of her circle,
saying: "And how's the son?" appeared as though they were anxious not to
be answered.
Here and there, too, a clergyman or a politician excused his spouse with
a strained, "My wife sends a thousand apologies. She wanted so much to
come with me; but her health has been rather troublesome this week. Oh,
no, dear lady! Nothing serious. Nothing serious, I assure you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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