"Oh, don't, don't speak like that about her." There were tears, tears of
real sorrow, in Aliette's eyes. "I can't bear it. I--I can't bear to
think of coming between you. It isn't fair. She's loved you all her
life. You're everything in the world to her. And then--then--oh! can't
you understand----"
He strove to kiss away the tears; but her hands covered her face from
his kisses. He knew himself all one weakness at thought of this hurt in
Aliette. And weakening, it seemed to him as though Julia Cavendish were
here in the room with them; as though he said to her: "Mater, this is my
one chance of happiness. I can't let even you take it from me."
The vision passed; and he knew himself strong again. His hands parted
Aliette's fingers; he kissed her on the closed eyelids, on the wet
cheeks. She clung to him, tearful still. Her lips murmured:
"Life is so difficult--so terribly difficult."
He said to her: "We mustn't make it more difficult. We love each other.
We must be true to love. Nothing else matters. As long as you are
mine----"
"I _am_ yours. Only yours. You don't doubt me?"
At that the last of Ronnie's scruples vanished. Fiercely, crudely, he
strained her to him. "Aliette, Aliette, my own darling, don't ask me to
give you up. I can't give you up! I couldn't endure life without you.
Come to me! We needn't do anything mean, anything underhand. It's for
your happiness--for my happiness----"
"Ronnie--Ronnie----"
Her lips were fire on his cheeks. The perfume of her was a fire in his
mind. Her arms were chains, chains of fire about his body. He crushed
her to him; crushed her mouth under his lips. Her whole body ached for
him, ached to surrender itself. A sharp pang as of hatred went through
her body: she hated him for the thing he would not do; hated herself for
the longings in her body.
"You hurt me, you hurt me." With a sharp cry she broke herself loose
from him. "I thought I was so strong. And I'm weak--clay in your hands."
She stood up, trembling; feeling herself all disheveled, abased.
The flame under the kettle had gone out. The tea had gone cold in their
half-empty cups. The street below still hooted and droned with traffic.
The clock still ticked from the mantelpiece.
"I ought to be going," she said, eying the clock.
"Yes." He, too, had risen: he, too, was trembling. "You ought to be
going. It's nearly half-past six. But you'll come to me again. You'll
come again--Aliette."
He found her gloves, her bag and parasol. Taking them, she knew that her
hands had lost their coolness; little pearls of emotion moistened either
palm. Her face, seen in the mirror over the mantelpiece, looked
strangely flushed--different. For the flash of a second, her
fastidiousness was in revulsion.
"You'll come again--soon?" he repeated.
"I don't know." Revulsion passed; but her hands, straightening her hat,
shook as though in self-disdain. "Somehow, it doesn't seem fair--on
either of us."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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