“It was no real kindness if you were thereby made discontented with your
home and your friends.”
“Yes, Mr. Wesley; that is just what came about. I thought myself a deal
better than anyone in the village--nay, than my own father and mother.
I had a scorn of those of my neighbours who were ignorant of books and
music and the working of embroidery, and other things that I learned
with the young ladies. I was unhappy myself, and I knew that I made
others unhappy.”
“Ah, such things have happened before. But you seemed on good terms with
the miller's family and the others who supped last evening at the Mill.
And did not you walk all the way from your village carrying that heavy
fish for their entertainment?--our entertainment, I may say, for I was
benefited with the others.”
The girl turned her head away; she seemed somewhat disturbed in her
mind. She did not reply at once, and it was in a low voice that she said:
“A year ago I--I--was brought to see that--that--I cannot tell you
exactly how it came about, sir; 'tis enough for me to say that something
happened that made me feel I was at heart no different from my own folk,
though I had played the organ at church many times when Mr. Havlings was
sick and though the young ladies made much of me.”
Mr. Wesley did not smile. He was greatly interested in the story which
the girl had told to him. Had she told him only the first part he
would have been able to supply the sequel out of his own experience and
knowledge of life. Here was this girl, possessing the charms of youth
and vivacity, indiscreetly educated, as people would say, “above her
station,” and without an opportunity of mingling on equal terms with
any except her own people--how should she be otherwise than dissatisfied
with her life? How could she fail to make herself disagreeable to the
homely, unambitious folk with whom she was forced to associate?
He had too much delicacy to ask her how it was that she had been brought
to see the mistake that she had made in thinking slightingly of her
own kin who remained in ignorance of the accomplishments which she
had acquired? He had no difficulty in supplying the details which she
omitted. He could see this poor, unhappy girl being so carried away by
a sense of her own superiority to her natural surroundings as to presume
upon the good nature of her patrons, the result being humiliation to
herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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