Like all men who have accomplished great things in the world, he was
intensely human. His sympathy flowed forth for his fellow-men in all
circumstances of life. But he did not know himself sufficiently well to
understand that what he thought of with regret as his weaknesses, were
actually those elements wherein lay the secret of his influence with
men.
He had just succeeded, he fancied, in convincing himself that it was
impossible he could ever have entertained a thought of Nelly Polwhele as
the one who could afford him the companionship which he craved, when a
letter came to him from Mr. Hartwell, whom he had appointed the leader
of the class which he had established at Porthawn, entreating him to
return to them, as they were in great distress and in peril of falling
to pieces, owing to the conduct of one of their members, Richard
Pritchard by name.
Could he affirm that the sorrow which he felt on receiving this news was
the sum of all the emotions that filled his heart at that moment?
He laid down the letter, saying,
“It is the Lord's doing.”
And when he said that, he was thinking, not of the distress in which his
children at Porthawn found themselves by reason of Richard Pritchard,
but of the meaning of the summons to himself.
“It is the trial to which my steadfastness is to be put,” he said. “I am
not to be allowed to escape without scathe. Why should I expect to do so
when others are tried daily? There can be no victory without a battle.
The strength of a man is developed by his trial. I am ready. Grant me
grace, O Lord, to sustain me, and to keep my feet from straying!”
He prepared himself for this journey back to Porthawn, and he was
presently amazed (having been made aware of his own weakness) to find
himself thinking very much less about himself and scarcely at all about
Nelly Polwhele, nor that the chance of seeing her again had, without the
least expectation on his part, came to him. He found himself giving
all his thoughts to the question of his duty. Had he been over-hasty in
accepting the assurances of all these people at Porthawn to whose souls
peace had come through his preaching? Was he actuated solely by a hope
to spread abroad the Truth as he had found it, or had a grain of the
tares of Self been sown among the good seed? Had there been something of
vanity in his desire to increase the visible results of his preaching?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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