Cupid, my secrets ne’er betray, Let me not realize my fear; And may they be destroyed, I pray, My valentines of yester-year. BUSINESS SECTION The Business Section of Arcady is on Wise Acre Square, just South of Wall Street. Here may be found the Great Heart Trust, the Unbounded Trust Company, and the offices of the Trust Her Not Association. These Companies issue United States Bonds of Matrimony upon application. The Court of Appeals and the Supreme Court are busy places, and in their courtyards sweethearts may be seen courting at any time during business hours. They receive and negotiate Sealed Proposals and Bids and draw up Marriage contracts. * * * * * In the Flat Irony Building are the offices of the Love Insurance Company, the Arcady Ideal Estate Company, and other such organizations, whose advertisements may be found at the end of this volume. IT HAPPENED IN ARCADY THE GREAT HEART TRUST “What is the matter, Kiddums?” said Dame Venus, as Cupid entered her boudoir, with his blue ribbon untied and limply dragging behind him, and his eyes shining through big tears, like bluebirds taking a bath. “Mother, I’m a ruined man,” and Cupid flung himself into his own little chair, with a Delsarte gesture expressive of deepest dejection. “What now, what now, my child?” gently inquired his beautiful parent, holding her hand-mirror a little to one side, that she might better perceive her troubled offspring. “Why, just this. Some of those fools of finance have organized a Great Heart Trust.” “Oh, Cupid, not really! Then your occupation is indeed gone! They have taken the very hearts out of your mouth!” “Yes, Mother; and aside from the loss of my business, just think how horrid it is to commercialize it so! Why, I went to their office to make sure the report was true, and there they were, those horrible magnets,—or whatever they call them,—huddled round a ticker, and yelling out to one another such things as these: ‘Loyal Hearts preferred. Chicago making bold advance; sharp dealings noticed. Colorado Springs Hearts failed to rally; feeling weak and generally depressed; later, showed a slight reaction. Spinsters, no demand.’ I don’t know what it all means, I’m sure; but I see my finish, and I may as well break my arrows and unstring my bow.” With a Delsarte gesture of vindictiveness and despair, Cupid doubled up his rosy, dimpled knee and snapped an arrow across it, throwing the pieces on the floor. Then he began to unstring his beautiful, curved bow. Venus looked sympathetically at her only son. “Perhaps,” she began, “it isn’t as bad as you think, dear. Perhaps,—”