Autographs -- Collectors and collecting -- Fiction; Satire
{role d'equipage = muster roll (French); here, Miss Rowley's list of
her autographs}
The next day, in passing Holberton-House, I observed the chariot of a
fashionable physician before the door; and at Miss Rowley's party in
the evening learned from Mr. T---- that Lady Holberton was quite
unwell. The following morning I called to inquire, and received for
answer that "her ladyship was very much indisposed." It was not until a
week later that I saw Lady Holberton herself, taking the air in Hyde
Park. She looked wretchedly--thin and pale. I inquired from the English
friend with whom I was riding, if there was any probability of a change
of ministry? He looked surprised; and then catching the direction of my
eye, he observed,
"You ask on Lady Holberton's account; but Sir A---- B---- tells me her
illness was caused by the loss of the Lumley Autograph."
This unexpected intelligence proved only too true. On returning to my
lodgings, I found a note from Lady Holberton, requesting to see me,
and, of course, immediately obeyed the summons.
"Lost!--lost!--lost! Mr. Howard!" said the lady, endeavoring to conceal
her emotion, as she gave me the details of her affliction.
"It must have been stolen--basely stolen--on the evening of my party.
Oh! why did I so foolishly exhibit it among so many people, and
collectors among them, too! Never again will I admit more than one
collector at a time into the room with my album!" she exclaimed with
energy.
I was shocked; surely Lady Holberton did not conceive it possible that
any of her guests could be guilty of such base conduct?
"How little you know them! But it is that, Mr. Howard, which has
interested me in your favor--you have so much naivete, and ignorance of
the moral turpitude of the old world, that I feel convinced you never
could be guilty of such an action yourself."
I assured Lady Holberton that in this respect she only did me justice;
and, in fact, a theft of the kind she alluded to appeared to me all but
incredible.
"Remember that it was only the other day that ---- lost his invaluable
album; remember that last winter Madame de ---- had all her notes on
botanical subjects stolen from her own portfolio--and I could mention a
dozen instances of the same wickedness."
These facts were already known to me, but I had forgotten them. I
remarked with a glow of national pride, that we certainly were much
more virtuous in these matters across the ocean; in America we are much
above pilfering autographs; when we do steal, it is by the volume--we
seize all an author's stock in trade at one swoop, and without
condescending to say even, thank ye, for it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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