The Lunatic at LargeClouston, J. Storer (Joseph Storer)
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The Lunatic at Large
Clouston, J. Storer (Joseph Storer)
Humorous stories; Nobility -- Germany -- Fiction
From his seat near the window he watched the old gentleman hurry back with
three officials at his heels, and hastily search each first-class
compartment in turn. The last one was so near him that he could hear his
friend say, “Damn it, the rascal has bolted in the crowd!” And with that
the four of them rushed off to the barrier to intercept or pursue this
suspicious character. Then the whistle blew, and as the train moved off Mr
Bunker remarked complacently, if a little mysteriously, to himself, “Well,
whoever I am, it would seem I’m rather difficult to catch.”
CHAPTER IX.
Mr Bunker arrived at the Hôtel Mayonaise in what, from his appearance, was
an unusually reflective state of mind for him. The other visitors, many of
whom had begun to regard him and his noble friend with great interest, saw
him pass through the crowd in the hall and about the lifts with a
thoughtful air. He went straight to the Baron’s room. Outside the door he
paused for an instant to set his face in a cheerful smile, and then burst
gaily in upon his friend.
“Well, my dear Baron!” he cried, “what luck in the Park?”
The Baron was pulling his moustache over an English novel. He laid down
his book and frowned at Mr Bunker.
“I do not onderstand your English vays,” he replied.
Mr Bunker perceived that something was very much amiss, nor was he without
a suspicion of the cause. He laughed, however, and asked, “What’s the
matter, old man?”
“I vent to ze Park,” said the Baron, with a solemn deliberation that
evidently came hardly to him. “I entered ze Park. I vas dressed, as you
know, viz taste and appropriety. I vas sober, as you know. I valked under
ze trees, and I looked agreeably at ze people. Goddam!”
“My dear Baron!” expostulated Mr Bunker.
The Baron resumed his intense composure with a great effort.
“Not long vas ven I see ze Lady Hilton drive past mit ze ozzer Lady Hilton
and vun old lady. I raise my hat—no bow from zem. ‘Pairhaps,’ I zink, ‘zey
see me not.’ Zey stop by ze side to speak viz a gentleman. I gomed up and
again I raise my hat and I say, ‘How do you do, Lady Hilton? I hope you
are regovered from ze dance.’ Zat was gorrect, vas it not?”
“Perfectly,” replied Mr Bunker, with great gravity.
“Zen vy did ze Lady Hilton schream and ze ozzer Lady Hilton cry, ‘Ach, zat
German man!’ And vy did ze old lady schream to ze gentleman, ‘Send him
avay! How dare you? Insolence!’ and suchlike vords?”
“What remarkable conduct, my dear Baron!” said Mr Bunker.
“Remargable!” roared the justly incensed Baron. “Is it not more zan
_remargable?_ Donner und blitzen! Mon Dieu! Blood! I know not ze English
vord so bad enoff for soch conduct.”
“It must have been a joke,” his friend suggested, soothingly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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