The Magic Egg, and Other StoriesStockton, Frank R.
Science
The Magic Egg, and Other Stories
Stockton, Frank R.
Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"And what did you do, madam?" asked Captain Bird, who was regarding her
with a face of stone.
"I used electricity," she said. "Now don't start as if you had a shock
of it. That's what I used. When I was younger than I was then, and
sometimes visited friends in the city, we often amused ourselves by
rubbing our feet on the carpet until we got ourselves so full of
electricity that we could put up our fingers and light the gas. So I
said to myself that if I could get full of electricity for the purpose
of lightin' the gas I could get full of it for other purposes, and so,
without losin' a moment, I set to work. I stood up on one of the
seats, which was dry, and I rubbed the bottoms of my shoes backward and
forward on it with such violence and swiftness that they pretty soon
got warm and I began fillin' with electricity, and when I was fully
charged with it from my toes to the top of my head, I just sprang into
the water and swam ashore. Of course I couldn't sink, bein' full of
electricity."
Captain Bird heaved a long sigh and rose to his feet, whereupon the
other mariners rose to their feet "Madam," said Captain Bird, "what's
to pay for the supper and--the rest of the entertainment?"
"The supper is twenty-five cents apiece," said the Widow Ducket, "and
everything else is free, gratis."
Whereupon each mariner put his hand into his trousers pocket, pulled
out a silver quarter, and handed it to the widow. Then, with four
solemn "Good evenin's," they went out to the front gate.
"Cast off, Captain Jenkinson," said Captain Bird, "and you, Captain
Burress, clew him up for'ard. You can stay in the bow, Captain
Sanderson, and take the sheet-lines. I'll go aft."
All being ready, each of the elderly mariners clambered over a wheel,
and having seated themselves, they prepared to lay their course for
Cuppertown.
But just as they were about to start, Captain Jenkinson asked that they
lay to a bit, and clambering down over his wheel, he reentered the
front gate and went up to the door of the house, where the widow and
Dorcas were still standing.
"Madam," said he, "I just came back to ask what became of your
brother-in-law through his wife's not bein' able to put no light in the
window?"
"The storm drove him ashore on our side of the bay," said she, "and the
next mornin' he came up to our house, and I told him all that had
happened to me. And when he took our boat and went home and told that
story to his wife, she just packed up and went out West, and got
divorced from him. And it served him right, too."
"Thank you, ma'am," said Captain Jenkinson, and going out of the gate,
he clambered up over the wheel, and the wagon cleared for Cuppertown.
When the elderly mariners were gone, the Widow Ducket, still standing
in the door, turned to Dorcas.
"Think of it!" she said. "To tell all that to me, in my own house!
And after I had opened my one jar of brandied peaches, that I'd been
keepin' for special company!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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