Animals -- Juvenile fiction; Australia -- Juvenile fiction; Fantasy literature; Humorous stories; Puddings -- Juvenile fiction
There was a hearty round of applause at this song, for as Bunyip Bluegum
remarked, 'Singing at breakfast should certainly be more commonly
indulged in, as it greatly tends to enliven what is on most occasions a
somewhat dull proceeding.'
'One of the great advantages of being a professional Puddin'-owner,'
said Sam Sawnoff, 'is that songs at breakfast are always encouraged.
None of the ordinary breakfast rules, such as scowling while eating, and
saying the porridge is as stiff as glue and the eggs are as tough as
leather, are observed. Instead, songs, roars of laughter, and boisterous
jests are the order of the day. For example, this sort of thing,' added
Sam, doing a rapid back-flap and landing with a thump on Bill's head. As
Bill was unprepared for this act of boisterous humour, his face was
pushed into the Puddin' with great violence, and the gravy was splashed
in his eye.
[Illustration]
'What d'yer mean, playin' such bungfoodlin' tricks on a man at
breakfast?' roared Bill.
'What d'yer mean,' shouted the Puddin', 'playing such foodbungling
tricks on a Puddin' being breakfasted at?'
'Breakfast humour, Bill, merely breakfast humour,' said Sam hastily.
'Humour's humour,' shouted Bill, 'but puddin' in the whiskers is no
joke.'
'Whiskers in the Puddin' is worse than puddin' in the whiskers,' shouted
the Puddin', standing up in his basin.
'Observe the rules, Bill,' said Sam hurriedly. 'Boisterous humour at the
breakfast table must be greeted with roars of laughter.'
'To Jeredelum with the rules,' shouted Bill. 'Pushing a man's face into
his own breakfast is beyond rules or reason, and deserves a punch in the
gizzard.'
Seeing matters arriving at this unpromising situation, Bunyip Bluegum
interposed by saying, 'Rather than allow this happy occasion to be
marred by unseemly recriminations, let us, while admitting that our
admirable friend, Sam, may have unwittingly disturbed the composure of
our admirable friend, Bill, at the expense of our admirable Puddin's
gravy, let us, I say, by the simple act of extending the hand of
friendship, dispel in an instant these gathering clouds of disruption.
In the words of the poem--
'Then let the fist of Friendship
Be kept for Friendship's foes.
Ne'er let that hand in anger land
On Friendship's holy nose.'
These fine sentiments at once dispelled Bill's anger. He shook hands
warmly with Sam, wiped the gravy from his face, and resumed breakfast
with every appearance of hearty good humour.
The meal over, the breakfast things were put away in the bag, Sam and
Bill took Puddin' between them, and all set off along the road,
enlivening the way with song and story. Bill regaled them with portions
of the 'Ballad of the _Salt Junk Sarah_', which is one of those songs
that go on for ever. Its great advantage, as Bill remarked, was that as
it hadn't got an ending it didn't need a beginning, so you could start
it anywhere.
'As for instance,' said Bill, and he roared out--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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