'The trouble is,' said the Constable, 'that there are far too many rioters. One would have been quite sufficient. If there had been only one small undersized rioter, I should have quelled him with the utmost severity.' 'Constable,' said the Mayor, sternly, 'in the name of His Majesty the King, I call on you to arrest these rioters without delay.' 'Look here,' said Bill, 'you're labourin' under an error. This ain't a riot at all. This is merely two puddin'-thieves gettin' a hidin' for tryin' to steal our Puddin'.' 'Puddin'-thieves!' exclaimed the Mayor. 'Don't tell me that puddin'-thieves have come to Tooraloo.' 'It staggers me with pain and grief, I can't believe it's true, That we should have a puddin'-thief Or two in Tooraloo. 'It is enough to make one dumb And very pale in hue To know that puddin'-thieves should come To sacred Tooraloo. 'The Law's just anger must appear. Ho! seize these scoundrels who Pollute the moral atmosphere Of rural Tooraloo.' 'We protest against these cruel words,' said the Possum. 'We have been assaulted and battered and snout-bended by ruffians of the worst description.' 'How can Your Worship say such things,' said the Wombat, 'and us a-wearin' bell-toppers before your very eyes.' 'If you've been assaulted and battered,' said the Mayor, 'we shall have to arrest the assaulters and batterers, as well.' 'What's fair to one is fair to all,' said the Constable. 'You'll admit that, of course?' he added to Bill. 'I admit nothin' of the sort,' said Bill. 'If you want to arrest anybody, do your duty and arrest these here puddin'-snatchers. 'If you're an officer of the Law, A constant felon-catcher, Then do not hesitate before A common puddin'-snatcher.' [Illustration] 'We call on you to arrest these assaulters and batterers of people wearing top-hats,' said the puddin'-thieves; 'Our innocence let all attest, We prove it by our hatter; It is your duty to arrest Not those in top-hats of the best But those who top-hats batter.' 'It's very clear that somebody has to be arrested,' said the Mayor. 'I can't be put to the trouble of wearing my robes of office in public without somebody having to pay for it. I don't care whether you arrest the top-hat batterers, or the battered top-hatters; all I say is, do your duty, whatever happens-- 'So somebody, no matter who, You must arrest or rue it; As I'm the Mayor of Tooraloo, And you've the painful job to do, I call on you to do it.' [Illustration] 'Very well,' said the Constable, peevishly, 'as I've got to take all the responsibility, I'll settle the matter by arresting the Puddin'. As far as I can see, he's the ringleader in this disturbance.' 'You're a carrot-nosed poltroon,' said the Puddin' loudly. 'As for the Mayor, he's a sausage-shaped porous plaster,' and he gave him a sharp pinch in the leg.