The Magic Pudding: Being the Adventures of Bunyip Bluegum and His Friends Bill Barnacle & Sam Sawnoff — John Shaqi
The Magic Pudding: Being the Adventures of Bunyip Bluegum and His Friends Bill Barnacle & Sam SawnoffLindsay, Norman
General
The Magic Pudding: Being the Adventures of Bunyip Bluegum and His Friends Bill Barnacle & Sam Sawnoff
Lindsay, Norman
Animals -- Juvenile fiction; Australia -- Juvenile fiction; Fantasy literature; Humorous stories; Puddings -- Juvenile fiction
"Do I recognize that Puddin'?" cried Sam in thrilling tones.
"That Puddin', sir, is dearer to me than an Uncle. That Puddin',
sir, an' me has registered vows of eternal friendship and esteem.
"That Puddin', sir, an' me have sailed the seas,
Known tropic suns, and braved the Artic breeze.
We've heard on Popocatepetl's peak
The savage Tom-Tom sharpenin' of his beak.
We've served the dreadful Jim-Jam up on toast,
When shipwrecked off the Coromandel coast,
And when we heard the frightful Bim-Bam rave,
Have plunged beneath the Salonican wave.
We've delved for Bulbuls' eggs on coral strands,
And chased the Pompeydon in distant lands.
That Puddin', sir, and me, has, back to back,
Withstood the fearful Rumty Tums' attack,
And swum the Indian Ocean for our lives,
Pursued by Oysters, armed with oyster knives.
Let me but say, e'er these adventures cloy,
I've knowed that Puddin' since he were a boy."
"All lies," sang out the Puddin', looking over the rim of his
basin. "For well you know that you and old Bill Barnacle collared
me off Curry and Rice after rollin him off the iceberg."
"Albert, Albert," said Bill, sternly. "Where's your manners
interruptin' Sir Samuel in that rude way, and him a-performin'
like an actor for your deliverance!"
" How much longer do you expect me to stay up here, bein' guzzled
by these legal land-crabs?" demanded the Puddin'.
"You shall stay there, Albert, till the case is well and truly
tried by these here noble Peers of the Realm assembled," said
Bill, impressively.
"Too much style about you," said the Puddin', rudely, and he threw
the Judge's glass of port into Bill's face, remarking: "Take that,
for being a pumpkin-headed old shellback."
There was a great uproar over this very illegal act. The Judge
was enraged at losing his port, and the Mayor was filled with
horror because Bill wiped his face on the mayoral hat, Sam had to
feign amazement at being called a liar, and the puddin'-thieves
kept shouting "Time, time; we can't stand here all day."
In desperation, Bill bawled at the top of his voice: "I call on
Detective Bluegum to restore order in the Court."
Bunyip ran into the witness-box and, with a ready wit, shouted
I have dreadful news to impart to this honourable Court."
All eyes, of course, turned on Bunyip, who, raising his hand with
an impressive gesture, said in thrilling tones: "From information
received, it has been discovered that the Puddin' was poisoned at
ten-thirty this morning."
This news restored order at once. The Judge turned pale as lard,
and the Usher, having a darker complexion, turned as pale as soap.
The Puddin' couldn't turn pale, so he let out a howl of terror.
"Poisoned," said the Usher, feebly. "How, how?"
"Poisoned," said the Judge, feeling his stomach with trembling
hands. "Until this moment I was under the delusion that a
somewhat unpleasant sensation of being, as it were, distended,
was merely due to having eaten seven slices. But if--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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