The MagicianMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
The Magician
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Magic -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction
“Hail, brother wizard! I greet in you, if not a master, at least a
student not unworthy my esteem.”
Susie was convulsed with laughter at his pompousness, and he turned to
her with the utmost gravity.
“Madam, your laughter is more soft in mine ears than the singing of
Bulbul in a Persian garden.”
Dr Porhoët interposed with introductions. The magician bowed solemnly
as he was in turn made known to Susie Boyd, and Margaret, and Arthur
Burdon. He held out his hand to the grim Irish painter.
“Well, my O’Brien, have you been mixing as usual the waters of
bitterness with the thin claret of Bordeaux?”
“Why don’t you sit down and eat your dinner?” returned the other,
gruffly.
“Ah, my dear fellow, I wish I could drive the fact into this head of
yours that rudeness is not synonymous with wit. I shall not have lived
in vain if I teach you in time to realize that the rapier of irony is
more effective an instrument than the bludgeon of insolence.”
O’Brien reddened with anger, but could not at once find a retort, and
Haddo passed on to that faded, harmless youth who sat next to Margaret.
“Do my eyes deceive me, or is this the Jagson whose name in its inanity
is so appropriate to the bearer? I am eager to know if you still devote
upon the ungrateful arts talents which were more profitably employed
upon haberdashery.”
The unlucky creature, thus brutally attacked, blushed feebly without
answering, and Haddo went on to the Frenchman, Meyer as more worthy of
his mocking.
“I’m afraid my entrance interrupted you in a discourse. Was it the
celebrated harangue on the greatness of Michelangelo, or was it the
searching analysis of the art of Wagner?”
“We were just going,” said Meyer, getting up with a frown.
“I am desolated to lose the pearls of wisdom that habitually fall from
your cultivated lips,” returned Haddo, as he politely withdrew Madame
Meyer’s chair.
He sat down with a smile.
“I saw the place was crowded, and with Napoleonic instinct decided that
I could only make room by insulting somebody. It is cause for
congratulation that my gibes, which Raggles, a foolish youth, mistakes
for wit, have caused the disappearance of a person who lives in open
sin; thereby vacating two seats, and allowing me to eat a humble meal
with ample room for my elbows.”
Marie brought him the bill of fare, and he looked at it gravely.
“I will have a vanilla ice, O well-beloved, and a wing of a tender
chicken, a fried sole, and some excellent pea-soup.”
“_Bien, un potage, une sole,_ one chicken, and an ice.”
“But why should you serve them in that order rather than in the order I
gave you?”
Marie and the two Frenchwomen who were still in the room broke into
exclamations at this extravagance, but Oliver Haddo waved his fat hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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