I told you, Colonel Lukyn--this isn't the conduct of an officer and a gentleman. LUKYN. Whose isn't, yours or mine? VALE. Mine. I mean yours. LUKYN. You are in the presence of ladies, sir; take off my hat. VALE. I beg your pardon. I didn't know I had it on. [_He throws the hat away, and the two men exchange angry words._ CHARLOTTE. He's a very good-looking fellow; you don't see a man at his best when he's wet through. AGATHA POSKET. [_To LUKYN._] Colonel Lukyn, do you ever intend to send for a cab? LUKYN. Certainly, madam. VALE. One moment. I have some personal explanation to exchange with Miss Verrinder. CHARLOTTE. [_To AGATHA POSKET._] The slippers. [_To VALE._] I am quite ready, Captain Vale. VALE. Thank you. Colonel Lukyn, will you oblige me by stepping out on to that balcony? LUKYN. Certainly not, sir. VALE. You're afraid of the wet, Colonel Lukyn; you are no soldier. LUKYN. You know better, sir. As a matter of fact, that balcony can't bear a man like me. VALE. Which shows that inanimate objects have a great deal of common-sense, sir. LUKYN. You don't prove it in your own instance, Captain Vale. VALE. That's a verbal quibble, sir. [_They talk angrily._ AGATHA POSKET. [_To CHARLOTTE._] It's frightfully late. Tell him to write to you. CHARLOTTE. I must speak to him to-night; life is too short for letters. AGATHA POSKET. Then he can telegraph. CHARLOTTE. Half-penny a word and he has nothing but his pay. AGATHA POSKET. Very well, then, Lady Jenkins has a telephone. I'll take you there to tea to-morrow. If he loves you, tell him to ring up 1338091. CHARLOTTE. You thoughtful angel! LUKYN. Mrs. Posket--Miss Verrinder--ahem--we---- VALE. Colonel Lukyn and myself---- LUKYN. Captain Vale and I fear that we have been betrayed, in a moment of---- VALE. Natural irritation. LUKYN. Natural irritation, into the atrocious impropriety of differing---- VALE. Before ladies. LUKYN. Charming ladies---- VALE. We beg your pardon--Lukyn! LUKYN. Vale. [_They grasp hands._] Mrs. Posket, I am now going out to hail a cab. AGATHA POSKET. Pray do. LUKYN. Miss Verrinder, the process will occupy five minutes. VALE. [_Giving his hat to LUKYN._] Lukyn, I return your kindness--my hat. LUKYN. Thank you, my boy. [_LUKYN puts on VALE'S hat, which is much too small for him. As he is going out there is a knock at the door; he opens it; BLOND is outside._ BLOND. Colonel, it is ten minutes past the time of closing, may I ask you to dismiss your party? LUKYN. Pooh! Isn't this a free country? [_He goes out._ BLOND. Yes, you are free to go home, Colonel. I shall get into trouble. [_Following him out._ CHARLOTTE. [_To AGATHA POSKET._] I'll have the first word. Really, Captain Vale, I'm surprised at you. VALE. There was a happy time, Miss Verrinder, when I might have been surprised at you. CHARLOTTE.