THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY MR. POSKET (Magistrate of the Mulberry Street Police Court) AGATHA POSKET CIS FARRINGDON (her Son) CHARLOTTE VERRINDER (her Sister) COLONEL LUKYN CAPTAIN HORACE VALE BEATIE TOMLINSON MR. BULLAMY (Magistrate of the Mulberry Street Police Court) ACHILLE BLOND ISIDORE MR. WORMINGTON INSPECTOR MESSITER } SERJEANT LUGG } (Metropolitan Police) CONSTABLE HARRIS } WYKE POPHAM _THE FIRST ACT_ THE FAMILY SKELETON _THE SECOND ACT_ IT LEAVES ITS CUPBOARD _THE THIRD ACT_ IT CRUMBLES THE MAGISTRATE THE FIRST ACT _The scene represents a well-furnished drawing-room in the house of MR. POSKET in Bloomsbury._ _BEATIE TOMLINSON, a pretty, simply dressed little girl of about sixteen, is playing the piano, as CIS FARRINGDON, a manly youth wearing an Eton jacket, enters the room._ CIS. Beatie! BEATIE. Cis dear! Dinner isn't over, surely? CIS. Not quite. I had one of my convenient headaches and cleared out. [_Taking an apple and some cobnuts from his pocket and giving them to BEATIE._] These are for you, dear, with my love. I sneaked 'em off the sideboard as I came out. BEATIE. Oh, I mustn't take them! CIS. Yes, you may--it's my share of dessert. Besides, it's a horrid shame you don't grub with us. BEATIE. What, a poor little music mistress! CIS. Yes. They're only going to give you four guineas a quarter. Fancy getting a girl like you for four guineas a quarter--why, an eighth of you is worth more than that! Now peg away at your apple. [_Produces a cigarette._ BEATIE. There's company at dinner, isn't there? [_Munching her apple._ CIS. Well, hardly. Aunt Charlotte hasn't arrived yet, so there's only old Bullamy. BEATIE. Isn't old Bullamy anybody? CIS. Old Bullamy--well, he's only like the guv'nor, a police magistrate at the Mulberry Street Police Court. BEATIE. Oh, does each police court have two magistrates? CIS. [_Proudly._] All the best have two. BEATIE. Don't they quarrel over getting the interesting cases? I should. CIS. I don't know how they manage--perhaps they toss up who's to hear the big sensations. There's a Mrs. Beldam, who is rather a bore sometimes; I know the Guv always lets old Bullamy attend to her. But, as a rule, I fancy they go half and half, in a friendly way. [_Lighting cigarette._] For instance, if the guv'nor wants to go to the Derby he lets old Bullamy have the Oaks--and so on, see? [_He sits on the floor, comfortably reclining against BEATIE, and puffing his cigarette._ BEATIE. Oh, I say, Cis, won't your mamma be angry when she finds I haven't gone home? CIS. Oh, put it on to your pupil. Say I'm very backward. BEATIE. I think you are extremely forward--in some ways. [_Biting the apple and speaking with her mouth full._] I do wish I could get you to concentrate your attention on your music lessons. But I wouldn't get you into a scrape! CIS. No fear of that. Ma is too proud of me. BEATIE. But there's your step-father. CIS.