“What I don’t understand,” said Marchare, “is how we can file a patent application on something that doesn’t yet exist. Won’t it be perjury for me to sign the inventor’s oath?” “That would depend on what oath you sign,” I told him. “Fortunately there are two kinds. In one you swear that everything in the application is true. In the second you merely swear that the object described in the specifications is your invention. I never heard of any inventor using the first kind. You don’t think Selden ever actually _made_ the automobile he patented, do you?” “I see,” he said, with an expression that said he didn’t at all. I looked over my notes. Mr. Spardleton had previously explained that it was useless to take notes on a new invention because the attorney’s version never agreed with the inventor’s. What was even worse, neither bore any resemblance to the hash the patent examiners would inevitably make of it. My notes were sufficiently confused to gladden the heart of any practicing patent attorney. “Well, I guess that’s it,” I said. I shook hands with Marchare, returned Eskew’s sneer cordially, and headed back to town. Plans for the coming tussle with the Patent Office were beginning to take shape in my head. But I foresaw no great difficulty. This was _real_ invention. Imagine. A diving suit that went underground. Even the Examiner would have to admit that this was creative originality of the highest order. He couldn’t turn me down. He wouldn’t dare. When I got back to the office I went in and explained the whole thing to Spardleton. He heard me all the way through without an interruption. When I had exhausted my vocabulary of superlatives he sat quietly for a moment thinking. Then he said, “Yes, it seems straightforward enough. I’ll tell you what. Make a search and pull a couple of patents that describe the usual diving suits. You will be able to use large portions of the specifications.” “How can I?” I asked. “Those patents will only describe diving suits that go underwater. They won’t--” He cut me off with an airy wave of his hand. “Whenever you hit the word ‘underwater,’ change it to ‘underground.’ When you hit the word ‘sea,’ change it to ‘ground’ or ‘earth.’ You’ll save a lot of time that way. Okay, you’re on your own. But let me see the spec before you file it.” I left and went over to the Patent Office to make the search. I flipped through the patents in Class 2, Subclass 2.1, and selected two patents to serve as models. I realized almost immediately that I’d be able to use large portions of them. It seemed like a good idea at the time.