It was a week since she had seen the prodigal. They had quarreled some
days ago, for Mr. Pennington's lazy humor had turned to a reckless
unconvention which had somewhat startled her. Her secret declaration of
independence had led her a little out of her depth, and she began to
feel more and more like the child with the jam-pot--only the jam-pot
was out of all proportion to real jam-pots and the smears seemed to
defy the most generous use of soap and water. This horrible Doe was the
neighbor's boy who told, and Mortimer Crabb was suddenly invested with
a newly-born parental dignity and wisdom. Mort! It made her shudder to
think of her husband receiving those letters. She knew him so well
and yet she knew him so little. She felt tempted to throw all else
to the winds and make a full confession--of what? of a childish
ingenuousness--which confession would magnify a hundred-fold. What had
she to confess? Meetings in the Park? Her face burned with shame. It
would have seemed less childish if her face had burned with shame at
things a little more tangible. Lunches in out-of-the-way restaurants,
innocent enough in themselves, whose only pleasure was the knowledge
that she took them unpermitted. She knew that she deserved to be stood
in the corner or be sent to bed without her supper, but she quailed at
the thought of meeting her husband's eye. She knew that he could make it
singularly cold and uncompromising.
And the letters. Why hadn't Heywood burned them? And yet why should
he have? Pennington's ideas of a compromising position she realized,
with some bitterness, differed somewhat from hers. And she knew she
_couldn't_ have written anything to regret. She tried to think, and a
phrase here and there recurred to her. Perhaps Mort might know her well
enough to guess how little they meant--but perhaps he didn't. Words
written to another were so desperately easy to misunderstand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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