England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"I don't understand you," she said, speaking rapidly. "It isn't a bit
delightful; you know it isn't. You know I hate you; you know I am the
most miserable person in the whole world. You know everything there is
to know about me; and I hate you! Why did you come back to spoil it
all, when I was trying so hard to be happy?"
Her own words amazed her. She knew they were true as she spoke them;
but she had not known it ten minutes ago.
"I'm sorry," he said, gravely. "Shall I go?"
He had completely dropped his jesting tone, but she hated him for his
pity even more than she had hated him for his ridicule; she tried to
speak, but her anger choked her utterance.
"When will you be at Ivingdon again?" he asked. "Did you say
Wednesday? And you are going to leave Ted in town?"
She asked herself why he did not go, instead of standing there and
making conversation by inventing questions to which he could not
possibly want to know the answers. But she mechanically made a
gesture in the affirmative to both of them; and he repeated his former
inquiry with gentle insistence.
"Shall I go now?"
"Yes, go!" she cried fiercely, and ignored the hand he proffered her,
and let him go without another word.
The fog swallowed him up, and she stood and gazed at the place where
he had stood, and wondered vaguely if he had been there at all or if
she had not dreamt the whole incident. For one moment the wild impulse
seized her to rush after him into the fog and the darkness, and to
implore him to take her with him anywhere, so long as she might be
with him. And then a smile flickered across her face as the bookseller
came out and spoke to her; and she paid for the first volume she
picked up; and the Rector and Ted emerged from the fog into the
semicircle of light, and life resumed its ordinary aspect again.
"Has he gone?" asked Ted.
"Who? Mr. Wilton? I did not know you saw him. Oh, yes; he went some
time ago. Isn't this a jolly little thing I have picked up?" said
Katharine lightly; and Ted apparently thought no more about it.
That evening she was almost feverishly gay. The Rector sat and smiled
happily as she turned everything that occurred into ridicule, and made
every passer-by a subject for her wit. They did not go to a theatre,
on account of the bad weather; and when Monty dropped in to coffee
later on, she kept him in a perpetual condition of adoring approval
until the fact of Ted's gloomy silence was gradually forced upon her,
and she blamed herself hotly for her stupidity. She was very cool to
Monty after she had realised her blunder; and the poor fellow, who was
quite ignorant of his offence, took the first opportunity to depart.
Even then, in spite of her efforts to be kind to him, Ted did not
wholly recover his spirits; and she sighed inwardly as she reflected
that she could not even be sure of accomplishing the one task she had
set herself to perform.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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