In their frequent conversations upon this subject, he was so earnest,
so eloquent, so markedly intentional, that Wilhelm finally gave him the
smiling assurance that he was preaching to a convert. It was true, he
had the highest respect for a man who did not hesitate to cast life
from him when his whole mind and thought led him to the conviction that
death was preferable to life; and unprincipled as suicide might be from
an objective point of view, subjectively considered, there surely was
an ideal fitness in making one's actions agree to the uttermost point
with one's opinions? Nevertheless, he himself did not approve of
Dorfling's deed, and would certainly never imitate it, for one could
never know what intentions the unknown powers might not have with
regard to the individual; by committing suicide he maybe threw up some
possible mission, or by his premature departure disturbed the action of
the great machine in which he--as some small screw or wheel--doubtless
had his modest place and function.
As if to prove to Schrotter that he was no disciple of the "Philosophy
of Deliverance," he turned his attention, more than he had ever done
before, to the realities of life. Dorfling left a remarkable will. He
bequeathed his fortune--most advantageously invested in a house in
Dusseldorf and in public funds--yielding a yearly income of about
thirty-five thousand marks, to his two friends, Dr Schrotter and Dr
Eynhardt, with the sole charge that out of it they should provide a
sufficient competency for his old servant, dating from his father's
time, who had attended him literally from the cradle to the grave. The
fortune was to be theirs conjointly and indivisibly, and should one of
them die, to devolve to the survivor, who in his turn was to make such
arrangements as he thought best to insure its being applied, after his
death, in accordance with the testator's views. He expressed the hope
that his two heirs would use the income derived from the property in
alleviating the misery inseparable from human existence, of which
throughout life they must be witnesses. Dorfling's only near relative
was herself very wealthy and generous-minded, and did not dispute the
will, it was accordingly proved.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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