Wilhelm had at first no explanation to give his friend, but he knew
very well that he delayed, and that he put off from day to day going to
Loulou's parents. His was a sensitive, dreamy nature, and much too
thoughtful to allow himself to act from passion. He was accustomed to
make his impulses subordinate to his reason, and to ask himself severe
questions as to the where, how, and why of things. He was not clear
himself as to the condition of things between him and Loulou. Did she
love him? There were many answers to that. She seemed pleased when she
saw him, and displeased if he appeared to forget her for a day. But
what he could not understand was that her head seemed as full as ever
of her usual acquaintances, and that she was capable of spending some
time in theaters, concerts, and society without looking for him. Full
too of talk of her frocks and neighbors, without wishing to interrupt
the empty gossip with a look or a kiss to let him know that she was
conscious of his presence, and in the middle of her idle talk to say
nevertheless that her heart was with him. On the other hand, she showed
the tenderest sympathy for him. She longed for a picture of his rooms
in the Dorotheenstrasse, where he lived and thought of her. She had
been to see his house in the Kochstrasse from the outside. She was
apparently proud of him, and repeated to him all the flattering remarks
which people made on his appearance and cleverness, with as much
satisfaction, as if she spoke of one of her own people. Still all this
was only on the surface, and he often had the impression that her
feeling for him was weakened at its foundation both by her cold
intelligence, and by her pleasure in worldly things.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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