He stopped, paralysed with angry amazement. She was laughing.
He grew purple in the face; his hands were still outstretched. The few
seconds seemed like hours.
'Forgive me!' she said in a polite tone, suddenly growing grave. 'But
really you looked so funny, sitting there so quietly, and speaking in
such a way, that I couldn't help it. You really must forgive me! But
remember, I told you the subject was barred; and as, knowing that, you
went on, you really have no one but yourself to blame!' Leonard was
furious, but managed to say as he dropped his arms:
'But I love you!'
'That may be, now,' she went on icily. 'But it is too late. I do not
love you; and I have never loved you! Of course, had you accepted my
offer of marriage you should never have known that. No matter how great
had been my shame and humiliation when I had come to a sense of what I
had done, I should have honourably kept my part of the tacit compact
entered into when I made that terrible mistake. I cannot tell you how
rejoiced and thankful I am that you took my mistake in such a way. Of
course, I do not give you any credit for it; you thought only of
yourself, and did that which you liked best!'
'That is a nice sort of thing to tell a man!' he interrupted with cynical
frankness.
'Oh, I do not want to hurt you unnecessarily; but I wish there to be no
possible misconception in the matter. Now that I have discovered my
error I am not likely to fall into it again; and that you may not have
any error at all, I tell you now again, that I have not loved you, do not
love you, and never will and never can love you.' Here an idea struck
Leonard and he blurted out:
'But do you not think that something is due to me?'
'How do you mean?' Her brows were puckered with real wonder this time.
'For false hopes raised in my mind. If I did not love you before, the
very act of proposing to me has made me love you; and now I love you so
well that I cannot live without you!' In his genuine agitation he was
starting up, when the sight of her hand laid upon the gong arrested him.
She laughed as she said:
'I thought that the privilege of changing one's mind was a female
prerogative! Besides, I have done already something to make reparation
to you for the wrong of . . . of--I may put it fairly, as the suggestion
is your own--of not having treated you as a woman!'
'Damn!'
'As you observe so gracefully, it is annoying to have one's own silly
words come back at one, boomerang fashion. I made up my mind to do
something for you; to pay off your debts.' This so exasperated him that
he said out brutally:
'No thanks to you for that! As I had to put up with the patronage and
the lecturings, and the eyeglass of that infernal old woman, I don't
intend . . . '
Stephen stood up, her hand upon the gong:
'Mr. Everard, if you do not remember that you are in my drawing-room, and
speaking of my dear and respected aunt, I shall not detain you longer!'
He sat down at once, saying surlily:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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