Again she paused; there rose before her mind that conversation in the
churchyard when Harold had said that it was difficult for women to be
just.
Miss Rowly reflected too. She was becoming convinced that in principle
the girl was right. But the details were repugnant as ever to her;
concentrating her mind on the point where she felt the ground firm under
her, she made her objection:
'But, Stephen dear, there are so many cases that are sordid and painful!'
'The more need to know of sordid things; if sordidness plays so important
a part in the tragedy of their lives!'
'But there are cases which are not within a woman's province. Cases that
touch sin . . . '
'What kind of sin do you mean? Surely all wrong-doing is sin!' The old
lady was embarrassed. Not by the fact, for she had been for too many
years the mistress of a great household not to know something of the
subject on which she spoke, but that she had to speak of such a matter to
the young girl whom she so loved.
'The sin, my dear, of . . . of woman's wrong-doing . . . as woman . . .
of motherhood, without marriage!' All Stephen's nature seemed to rise in
revolt.
'Why, Auntie,' she spoke out at once, 'you yourself show the want of the
very experience I look for!'
'How? what?' asked the old lady amazed and bristling. Stephen took her
hand and held it affectionately as she spoke:
'You speak of a woman's wrong-doing, when surely it is a man's as well.
There does not seem to be blame for him who is the more guilty. Only for
poor women! . . . And, Auntie dear, it is such poor women that I should
like to help . . . Not when it is too late, but before! But how can I
help unless I know? Good girls cannot tell me, and good women won't! You
yourself, Auntie, didn't want to speak on the subject; even to me!'
'But, my dear child, these are not things for unmarried women. I never
speak of them myself except with matrons.' Stephen's answer flashed out
like a sword; and cut like one:
'And yet you are unmarried! Oh, Auntie dear, I did not and I do not mean
to be offensive, or to hurt you in any way. I know, dear, your goodness
and your kindness to all. But you limit yourself to one side!' The
elder lady interrupted:
'How do you mean? one side! which side?'
'The punishment side. I want to know the cause of that which brings the
punishment. There surely is some cross road in a girl's life where the
ways part. I want to stand there if I can, with warning in one hand and
help in the other. Oh! Auntie, Auntie, can't you see that my heart is in
this . . . These are our people; Daddy says they are to be my people; and
I want to know their lives right through; to understand their wants, and
their temptations, and their weakness. Bad and good, whatever it be, I
must know it all; or I shall be working in the dark, and may injure or
crush where I had looked to help and raise.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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