The fellow was right! In an excess of caution I had refused to
relinquish my alligator bag, and had turned over my other traps to the
porter. It was clear enough then. I was simply a victim of the usual
sleeping-car robbery. I was in a lather of perspiration by that time:
the lady down the car was still dangling and talking about it: still
nearer a feminine voice was giving quick orders in French, presumably
to a maid. The porter was on his knees, looking under the berth.
“Not there, sir,” he said, dusting his knees. He was visibly more
cheerful, having been absolved of responsibility. “Reckon it was taken
while you was wanderin’ around the car last night.”
“I’ll give you fifty dollars if you find it,” I said. “A hundred. Reach
up my shoes and I’ll—”
I stopped abruptly. My eyes were fixed in stupefied amazement on a coat
that hung from a hook at the foot of my berth. From the coat they
traveled, dazed, to the soft-bosomed shirt beside it, and from there to
the collar and cravat in the net hammock across the windows.
“A hundred!” the porter repeated, showing his teeth. But I caught him
by the arm and pointed to the foot of the berth.
“What—what color’s that coat?” I asked unsteadily.
“Gray, sir.” His tone was one of gentle reproof.
“And—the trousers?”
He reached over and held up one creased leg. “Gray, too,” he grinned.
“Gray!” I could not believe even his corroboration of my own eyes. “But
my clothes were blue!” The porter was amused: he dived under the
curtains and brought up a pair of shoes. “Your shoes, sir,” he said
with a flourish. “Reckon you’ve been dreaming, sir.”
Now, there are two things I always avoid in my dress—possibly an
idiosyncrasy of my bachelor existence. These tabooed articles are red
neckties and tan shoes. And not only were the shoes the porter lifted
from the floor of a gorgeous shade of yellow, but the scarf which was
run through the turned over collar was a gaudy red. It took a full
minute for the real import of things to penetrate my dazed
intelligence. Then I gave a vindictive kick at the offending ensemble.
“They’re not mine, any of them,” I snarled. “They are some other
fellow’s. I’ll sit here until I take root before I put them on.”
“They’re nice lookin’ clothes,” the porter put in, eying the red tie
with appreciation. “Ain’t everybody would have left you anything.”
“Call the conductor,” I said shortly. Then a possible explanation
occurred to me. “Oh, porter—what’s the number of this berth?”
“Seven, sir. If you cain’t wear those shoes—”
“Seven!” In my relief I almost shouted it. “Why, then, it’s simple
enough. I’m in the wrong berth, that’s all. My berth is nine.
Only—where the deuce is the man who belongs here?”
“Likely in nine, sir.” The darky was enjoying himself. “You and the
other gentleman just got mixed in the night. That’s all, sir.” It was
clear that he thought I had been drinking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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