"Sir, did you ever see a rat drowned in a half-filled hogshead-how he
swims round, and round, and round; and after vainly trying the sides
again and again with his paws, fixes his eyes upon the upper rim as if
he would _look himself_ out of his watery prison?
"I thought of the miserable vermin, thought of him as I had often
watched thus his dying agonies, when a cruel urchin of eight or ten.
Boys are horribly cruel, sir; boys, women, and savages. All childlike
things are cruel; cruel from a want of thought and from perverse
ingenuity, although by instinct each of these is so tender. You may not
have observed it, but a savage is as tender to his own young as a boy
is to a favorite puppy-the same boy that will torture a kitten out of
existence. I thought then, I say, of the rat drowning in a half-filled
cask of water, and lifting his gaze out of the vessel as he grew more
and more desperate, and I flung myself on my back, and, floating thus,
fixed my eyes upon the face of the moon.
"The moon is well enough in her way, however you may look at her; but
her appearance is, to say the least of it, peculiar to a man floating on
his back in the centre of a stone tank, with a dead wall of some fifteen
or twenty feet rising squarely on every side of him!" (The young man
smiled bitterly as he said this, and shuddered once or twice before
he went on musingly.) "The last time I had noted the planet with any
emotion she was on the wane. Mary was with me; I had brought her out
here one morning to look at the view from the top of the Reservoir. She
said little of the scene, but as we talked of our old childish loves,
I saw that its fresh features were incorporating themselves with tender
memories of the past, and I was content.
"There was a rich golden haze upon the landscape, and as my own spirits
rose amid the voluptuous atmosphere, she pointed to the waning planet,
discernible like a faint gash in the welkin, and wondered how long it
would be before the leaves would fall. Strange girl! did she mean to
rebuke my joyous mood, as if we had no right to be happy while Nature,
withering in her pomp, and the sickly moon, wasting in the blaze of
noontide, were there to remind us of 'the-gone-forever'? 'They will all
renew themselves, dear Mary,' said I, encouragingly, 'and there is
one that will ever keep tryst alike with thee and nature through all
seasons, if thou wilt but be true to one of us, and remain as now a
child of nature.'
"A tear sprang to her eye, and then searching her pocket for her
card-case, she remembered an engagement to be present at Miss Lawson's
opening of fall bonnets at two o'clock!
"And yet, dear, wild, wayward Mary, I thought of her now. You have
probably outlived this sort of thing, sir; but I, looking at the moon,
as I floated there upturned to her yellow light, thought of the loved
being whose tears I knew would flow when she heard of my singular fate,
at once so grotesque, yet melancholy to awfulness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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