"That's what they call sikeology in Smith," says Bonnie Bell.
"Well," says I, "you can't get no course in cow sikeology in no four
years; it takes more than that on the range, like your pa and me done.
They can't raise nothing out there in the Yellow Bull but cows, and they
don't know how to raise them. Colonel," says I, "ain't them deferred
payments deferring all right?"
"Some," says he. "They didn't pay nothing this year yet and it's way
past due. Looks like there might be some trouble in there, don't it?"
"Well then," says Bonnie Bell, "where does that leave us? Look at this
place; look at all our expense." She stopped combing then.
"Don't worry about that," says her pa. "We've made plenty of money other
ways than that. For instance, I got a offer right now to sell out all
our land below here toward the park for about three times what we paid
for it. The Second Calvary Regiment wants to put up a barracks, or a
armory or something, in there. Also, a French milliner wants in, just
below here."
"What!" says Bonnie Bell. "That would ruin the whole Row. What do you
mean by that?"
"Huh!" says her pa. "That's what they all say. Old Man Wisner was crazy
when he heard something about it--he was going to get out a injunction.
I hope he'll try it; for he can't. Seems like most of the things he's
been trying on us he couldn't make go."
"Well, dad, I don't believe I'd like that barracks on our land either.
Suppose we all think it over a little bit."
"All right," says he. "There may be other ways of having fun with Dave.
I just thought of that one. Oh, well, I bought the lot north of them,
and I'm thinking of putting a Old People's Home in there," says he.
"Across the street from there I'm thinking of putting up a statue of
Kaiser Wilhelm; some of my constituents they would come there Sunday and
hold services," says he.
"Anything else you got on your mind, Colonel?" I ast him.
"Well, I just seen a chance to make a little speculation in a
moving-picture company," says he. "I didn't put in much--only two, three
hundred thousand dollars; but I didn't know but what it might make some
money after a while. How would you like to be a actor man in our
company, Curly?" says he. "The worst it could do would be to spoil a
puncher that never was much good anyhow."
"No," says I; "it's too much like work."
"Well, we could make other pictures," says he, smiling contented. "For
instance, we could set up two or three cameras right acrost the street
from Old Man Wisner's 'most any morning. Then, when Old Man Wisner come
out we could take his picture and show him how he looks when he has got
a grouch. Or we could take a picture of the old lady getting in her car
or getting out. Neither one of 'em has got much girlish figure now.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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