When he reached the house, and inquired for Miss Atkins (for that was the
lady’s name), he was shown up three pair of stairs, into a small room
lighted by one narrow lattice, and patched round with shreds of
different-coloured paper. In the darkest corner stood something like a
bed, before which a tattered coverlet hung by way of curtain. He had not
waited long when she appeared. Her face had the glister of new-washed
tears on it. “I am ashamed, sir,” said she, “that you should have taken
this fresh piece of trouble about one so little worthy of it; but, to the
humane, I know there is a pleasure in goodness for its own sake: if you
have patience for the recital of my story, it may palliate, though it
cannot excuse, my faults.” Harley bowed, as a sign of assent; and she
began as follows:—
“I am the daughter of an officer, whom a service of forty years had
advanced no higher than the rank of captain. I have had hints from
himself, and been informed by others, that it was in some measure owing
to those principles of rigid honour, which it was his boast to possess,
and which he early inculcated on me, that he had been able to arrive at
no better station. My mother died when I was a child: old enough to
grieve for her death, but incapable of remembering her precepts. Though
my father was doatingly fond of her, yet there were some sentiments in
which they materially differed: she had been bred from her infancy in the
strictest principles of religion, and took the morality of her conduct
from the motives which an adherence to those principles suggested. My
father, who had been in the army from his youth, affixed an idea of
pusillanimity to that virtue, which was formed by the doctrines, excited
by the rewards, or guarded by the terrors of revelation; his dashing idol
was the honour of a soldier: a term which he held in such reverence, that
he used it for his most sacred asseveration. When my mother died, I was
some time suffered to continue in those sentiments which her instructions
had produced; but soon after, though, from respect to her memory, my
father did not absolutely ridicule them, yet he showed, in his discourse
to others, so little regard to them, and at times suggested to me motives
of action so different, that I was soon weaned from opinions which I
began to consider as the dreams of superstition, or the artful inventions
of designing hypocrisy. My mother’s books were left behind at the
different quarters we removed to, and my reading was principally confined
to plays, novels, and those poetical descriptions of the beauty of virtue
and honour, which the circulating libraries easily afforded.
“As I was generally reckoned handsome, and the quickness of my parts
extolled by all our visitors, my father had a pride in allowing me to the
world. I was young, giddy, open to adulation, and vain of those talents
which acquired it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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