Mrs. Grocer observed, how ill-convenient it was for people, who could not
be drove backwards, to travel in a stage. This brought on a dissertation
on stage-coaches in general, and the pleasure of keeping a chay of one’s
own; which led to another, on the great riches of Mr. Deputy Bearskin,
who, according to her, had once been of that industrious order of youths
who sweep the crossings of the streets for the conveniency of passengers,
but, by various fortunate accidents, had now acquired an immense fortune,
and kept his coach and a dozen livery servants. All this afforded ample
fund for conversation, if conversation it might be called, that was
carried on solely by the before-mentioned lady, nobody offering to
interrupt her, except that the officer sometimes signified his
approbation by a variety of oaths, a sort of phraseology in which he
seemed extremely versant. She appealed indeed, frequently, to her
husband for the authenticity of certain facts, of which the good man as
often protested his total ignorance; but as he was always called fool, or
something very like it, for his pains, he at last contrived to support
the credit of his wife without prejudice to his conscience, and signified
his assent by a noise not unlike the grunting of that animal which in
shape and fatness he somewhat resembled.
The housekeeper, and the old gentleman who sat next to Harley, were now
observed to be fast asleep, at which the lady, who had been at such pains
to entertain them, muttered some words of displeasure, and, upon the
officer’s whispering to smoke the old put, both she and her husband
purs’d up their mouths into a contemptuous smile. Harley looked sternly
on the grocer. “You are come, sir,” said he, “to those years when you
might have learned some reverence for age. As for this young man, who
has so lately escaped from the nursery, he may be allowed to divert
himself.” “Dam’me, sir!” said the officer, “do you call me young?”
striking up the front of his hat, and stretching forward on his seat,
till his face almost touched Harley’s. It is probable, however, that he
discovered something there which tended to pacify him, for, on the ladies
entreating them not to quarrel, he very soon resumed his posture and
calmness together, and was rather less profuse of his oaths during the
rest of the journey.
It is possible the old gentleman had waked time enough to hear the last
part of this discourse; at least (whether from that cause, or that he too
was a physiognomist) he wore a look remarkably complacent to Harley, who,
on his part, shewed a particular observance of him. Indeed, they had
soon a better opportunity of making their acquaintance, as the coach
arrived that night at the town where the officer’s regiment lay, and the
places of destination of their other fellow-travellers, it seems, were at
no great distance, for, next morning, the old gentleman and Harley were
the only passengers remaining.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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