American fiction -- 20th century; Arizona -- Fiction; Western stories
“I don't agree with you,” replied Helen, quickly. “I don't have to be an
Indian to be true to myself.”
“Why, yes you do,” said Dale.
“But I couldn't be an Indian,” declared Helen, spiritedly. “I couldn't
FEEL only, as you say Bo did. I couldn't go back in the scale, as you
hint. What would all my education amount to--though goodness knows it's
little enough--if I had no control over primitive feelings that happened
to be born in me?”
“You'll have little or no control over them when the right time comes,”
replied Dale. “Your sheltered life an' education have led you away from
natural instincts. But they're in you an' you'll learn the proof of that
out here.”
“No. Not if I lived a hundred years in the West,” asserted Helen.
“But, child, do you know what you're talkin' about?”
Here Bo let out a blissful peal of laughter.
“Mr. Dale!” exclaimed Helen, almost affronted. She was stirred. “I know
MYSELF, at least.”
“But you do not. You've no idea of yourself. You've education, yes, but
not in nature an' life. An' after all, they are the real things. Answer
me, now--honestly, will you?”
“Certainly, if I can. Some of your questions are hard to answer.”
“Have you ever been starved?” he asked.
“No,” replied Helen.
“Have you ever been lost away from home?”
“No.”
“Have you ever faced death--real stark an' naked death, close an'
terrible?”
“No, indeed.”
“Have you ever wanted to kill any one with your bare hands?”
“Oh, Mr. Dale, you--you amaze me. No!... No!”
“I reckon I know your answer to my last question, but I'll ask it,
anyhow.... Have you ever been so madly in love with a man that you could
not live without him?”
Bo fell off her seat with a high, trilling laugh. “Oh, you two are
great!”
“Thank Heaven, I haven't been,” replied Helen, shortly.
“Then you don't know anythin' about life,” declared Dale, with finality.
Helen was not to be put down by that, dubious and troubled as it made
her.
“Have you experienced all those things?” she queried, stubbornly.
“All but the last one. Love never came my way. How could it? I live
alone. I seldom go to the villages where there are girls. No girl would
ever care for me. I have nothin'.... But, all the same, I understand
love a little, just by comparison with strong feelin's I've lived.”
Helen watched the hunter and marveled at his simplicity. His sad and
penetrating gaze was on the fire, as if in its white heart to read the
secret denied him. He had said that no girl would ever love him. She
imagined he might know considerably less about the nature of girls than
of the forest.
“To come back to myself,” said Helen, wanting to continue the argument.
“You declared I didn't know myself. That I would have no self-control. I
will!”
“I meant the big things of life,” he said, patiently.
“What things?”
“I told you. By askin' what had never happened to you I learned what
will happen.”
“Those experiences to come to ME!” breathed Helen, incredulously.
“Never!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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