American fiction -- 20th century; Arizona -- Fiction; Western stories
“Bo has answered you with her feelings,” replied Helen, “I could not do
that and be honest. The fact that Bo wouldn't shoot the lion after we
treed him acquits her. Nevertheless, her answer is purely physical. You
know, Mr. Dale, how you talk about the physical. I should say my sister
was just a young, wild, highly sensitive, hot-blooded female of the
species. She exulted in that chase as an Indian. Her sensations were
inherited ones--certainly not acquired by education. Bo always hated
study. The ride was a revelation to me. I had a good many of Bo's
feelings--though not so strong. But over against them was the opposition
of reason, of consciousness. A new-born side of my nature confronted me,
strange, surprising, violent, irresistible. It was as if another side of
my personality suddenly said: 'Here I am. Reckon with me now!' And there
was no use for the moment to oppose that strange side. I--the thinking
Helen Rayner, was powerless. Oh yes, I had such thoughts even when the
branches were stinging my face and I was thrilling to the bay of the
hound. Once my horse fell and threw me.... You needn't look alarmed.
It was fine. I went into a soft place and was unhurt. But when I was
sailing through the air a thought flashed: this is the end of me! It was
like a dream when you are falling dreadfully. Much of what I felt and
thought on that chase must have been because of what I have studied and
read and taught. The reality of it, the action and flash, were splendid.
But fear of danger, pity for the chased lion, consciousness of foolish
risk, of a reckless disregard for the serious responsibility I have
taken--all these worked in my mind and held back what might have been a
sheer physical, primitive joy of the wild moment.”
Dale listened intently, and after Helen had finished he studied the fire
and thoughtfully poked the red embers with his stick. His face was still
and serene, untroubled and unlined, but to Helen his eyes seemed sad,
pensive, expressive of an unsatisfied yearning and wonder. She had
carefully and earnestly spoken, because she was very curious to hear
what he might say.
“I understand you,” he replied, presently. “An' I'm sure surprised that
I can. I've read my books--an' reread them, but no one ever talked like
that to me. What I make of it is this. You've the same blood in you
that's in Bo. An' blood is stronger than brain. Remember that blood is
life. It would be good for you to have it run an' beat an' burn, as
Bo's did. Your blood did that a thousand years or ten thousand before
intellect was born in your ancestors. Instinct may not be greater than
reason, but it's a million years older. Don't fight your instincts so
hard. If they were not good the God of Creation would not have given
them to you. To-day your mind was full of self-restraint that did not
altogether restrain. You couldn't forget yourself. You couldn't FEEL
only, as Bo did. You couldn't be true to your real nature.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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