_Sir Per_. The reverse, the reverse: weel, sir, seeing myself in this unprofitable situation, I reflected deeply; I cast about my thoughts morning, noon, and night, and markt every man and every mode of prosperity,--at last I concluded that a matrimonial adventure, prudently conducted, would be the readiest gait I could gang for the bettering of my condition, and accordingly I set about it: now, sir, in this pursuit, beauty! beauty!--ah! beauty often struck mine een, and played about my heart! and fluttered, and beat, and knocked, and knocked, but the devil an entrance I ever let it get;--for I observed, sir, that beauty--is generally--a proud, vain, saucy, expensive, impertinent sort of a commodity. _Eger_. Very justly observed, sir. _Sir Per_. And therefore, sir, I left it to prodigals and coxcombs, that could afford to pay for it; and in its stead, sir, mark! I looked out for an ancient, weel-jointured, superannuated dowager:--a consumptive, toothless, ptisicky, wealthy widow,--or a shrivelled, cadaverous piece of deformity in the shape of an izzard, or a appersi-and,--or, in short, ainy thing, ainy thing that had the siller, the siller,--for that, sir, was the north star of my affections. Do you take me, sir; was nai that right? _Eger_. O! doubtless--doubtless, sir. _Sir Per_. Now, sir, where do you think I ganged to look for this woman with the siller?--nai till court, nai till playhouses or assemblies--nai, sir. I ganged till the kirk, till the anabaptist, independent, bradlonian, and muggletonian meetings; till the morning and evening service of churches and chapels of ease, and till the midnight, melting, conciliating love-feasts of the methodists; and there, sir, at last, I fell upon an old, slighted, antiquated, musty maiden, that looked--ha, ha, ha! she looked just like a skeleton in a surgeon's glass case. Now, sir, this miserable object was religiously angry with herself and aw the world; had nai comfort but in metaphysical visions, and supernatural deliriums; ha, ha, ha! Sir, she was as mad--as mad as a Bedlamite. _Eger_. Not improbable, sir, there are numbers of poor creatures in the same condition.