_Sir Per._ Vary weel.--Now then, my very guid friend, guin you wou'd but
give him that hint, and take an opportunity to speak a guid word for him
till the wench;--and guin you wou'd likewise cast about a little now,--and
contrive to bring them together once,--why, in a few days after he wou'd
nai care a pinch of snuff for her. [Sidney _starts up._] What is the
matter with you, man?--What the devil gars you start and look so
astounded?
_Sid._ Sir, you amaze me.--In what part of my mind or conduct have you
found that baseness, which entitles you to treat me with this indignity?
_Sir Per._ Indignity! What indignity do you mean, sir? Is asking you to
serve a friend with a wench an indignity? Sir, am I not your patron and
benefactor? Ha?
_Sid._ You are, sir, and I feel your bounty at my heart;--but the virtuous
gratitude, that sowed the deep sense of it there, does not inform me that,
in return, the tutor's sacred function, or the social virtue of the man
must be debased into the pupil's pander, or the patron's prostitute.
_Sir Per._ How! what, sir! do you dispute? Are you nai my dependent? ha?
And do you hesitate about an ordinary civility, which is practised every
day by men and women of the first fashion? Sir, let me tell you,--however
nice you may be, there is nai a client about the court that wou'd nai jump
at sic an opportunity to oblige his patron.
_Sid._ Indeed, sir, I believe the doctrine of pimping for patrons, as well
as that of prostituting eloquence and public trust for private lucre, may
be learned in your party schools:--for where faction and public venality
are taught as measures necessary to good government and general
prosperity--there every vice is to be expected.
_Sir Per._ Oho! oho! vary weel! vary weel! fine slander upon ministers!
fine sedition against government! O, ye villain! you--you--you are a black
sheep;--and I'll mark you.--I am glad you shew yourself.--Yes, yes,--you
have taken off the mask at last;--you have been in my service for many
years, and I never knew your principles before.
_Sid._ Sir, you never affronted them before:--if you had, you should have
known them sooner.
_Sir Per._ It is vary weel.--I have done with you.--Ay, ay; now I can
account for my son's conduct--his aversion till courts, till ministers,
levees, public business, and his disobedience till my commands.--Ah! you
are a Judas--a perfidious fellow;--you have ruined the morals of my son,
you villain.--But I have done with you.--However, this I will prophecy at
our parting, for your comfort,--that guin you are so very squeamish about
bringing a lad and a lass together, or about doing sic an a harmless
innocent job for your patron, you will never rise in the church.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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